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Making his way to the ring the undisputed Columnist Champion of the World, Mr. Pay Per View, R-O-Double B. Well I am through with all the glitzy intros, I don't care if all of you marks love me or hate me. Like Tommy Dreamer says 'No Gimmick Needed". Onto business, I hate the WWF. Not the WWF of a few months ago, I mean the WWF of now. What the hell is Vince doing to his promotion? I guess this shows who was the real brains behind the scenes, Russo, Ferrara, and Taylor. Since they left the WWF has been in a free-fall and there is literally no end in site. Now I don't place all of the blame on Vince, he has lost some Superstars due to injury, such as Stone Cold and the Undertaker. Now I have made myself clear int he past that these two gimps are not my favorites. From Stone Cold's boring gimmick and idiotic promos and The Taker's transformation from the biggest bad-ass to a humongous redneck fool. With those two M.I.A. I know it makes it harder to plan storylines because just a few months ago they were Main Event players. Even if those two are gone the WWF still has enough talent to survive...Here are my Ways To Save The WWF!!!! 1) First off why, oh why is The Rock back with Mankind? I like the Rock n Sock Connection as much as the next guy but with the aformentioned stars out of action The Rock should be in the Main Event. He is the number one face in the promotion and it makes no sense that when he is needed that he is stuck in the tag team ranks. 2) Why do The Outlaws keep the belts? I like the Outlaws as heels but they should spread the belts around more often. Look at the tag team ranks, they have the greatest division in wrestling today. The Hardys, Headbangers, Kai En Tai, Too Cool, Edge and Christian, and The Dudleys. I left out The Acolytes because I hate Fah-Root and Bradshaw, I have a problem with anyones whose finisher is a clothesline. 3) Vince turn heel. I like Vince as a heel, his mic work and ability to piss everyone off is great but as a face he is boring. I think that it is easier to be over as a heel than a face. Look at the heels and the faces. Bossman for example is a terrible face because he is annoying, but a a heel he doesn't even have to talk, all he has to do is smash a watch that belongs to a dead guy. Vince's goody-two-shoes act is stupid, all of the sudden, Vince is a great guy. What does everyone magically forget about the last two years. 4) Have the Big Show drop the belt. He is not ready for the Main Event yet. I know it and the fans know it. He gets the least fan pop for a world champ that I can remember. If the WWF wants to give him a lengthy reign at least turn him heel. I think he'll get over better that way. 5) Just say no to Viscera and Kane. Kane is a main eventer and a great performer. Viscera is a big fat bastard, he basically sucks. Why is Kane feuding with him. If I were Vince I would place Bossman in a feud with Shane or someone crappy and put Kane as a face against Big Show as a heel. Well enough WWF, onto the rising star of WCW. Once again I continue to praise WCW bookers. The Starrcade Main Event of Bret Hart and Goldberg is interesting. Will either of them turn heel, who will do the job? Sid turning face and teaming with Goildberg was a great idea, I like Sid as a face and he is able to get over more as a face. I like Double J a lot also. I would be lead to believe think if WCW doesn't turn Goldberg or Hart heel, Jeff Jarrett will be the company's top heel in a matter of weeks, maybe even by WCW's January PPV. As a testament to how good WCW is just look at what they have accomplished, it is like the holy grail of wrestling, getting Dr. Death over with the fans. Now the WWF couldn't do it, twice!!! Some people were even cheering him when he cleared the ring of the cruiserweights. Now that is what I clal amazing. Maybe it has something to do with his valet / personal announcer Oklahoma. I have no problem with this imperosnation of J.R. and I find myself laughing when he speaks in sound bites. Where is the retaliation I keep asking myself, what happened to the man with "Balls the size of grapefruits" Vinnie Mac. In the old days he'd never let that slide. I miss the old WWF but hail the new WCW. Now onto ECW...I love me some ECW. The Raven, Dreamer, Sandman, Impact Players, Rhino feud is the best angle in wrestling. Raven and Sandman seem to be starting a feud also and that should be enough to carry on well into the Millenium. Like I said last week ECW is an excellent promotion with a bright future. They have basically the best overall roster in the world today. Most of the wrestlers do little mic work and rely on their ability to get over via their ring work. I am lead to believe that to be in ECW you must be a great ring technician. There are no Big Bossmans or Steve Austin (yes, I know he was in ECW, but he was much better back then) who rely on one or two moves to work a match. Now time once again for Drop That Mic brought to you by our friends at Hooked on Phonics. This weeks guys who should be injected with novacaine before every match are... New Age Outlaws - Okay, Road Dogg, you are a heel, a bad guy. Don't do the old intro, even though I do like when he says "The Outlaws always like to kick that shiznit doggystyle, with all your mommas". Even though, he still needs to try to get over as a heel and with that great of a promo, he is still going to get face pops. I am not saying to not utilize those mic skills but deliver more of a derogitory promo. Godfather - Let it be known that I hate the Godfather, as a matter of fact I almost gag when Michael Cole says "Pimpin ain't easy but it sure looks like fun". I am being totally unbiased on this segment though. What pissed me off about him happened a few weeks ago. He came to the ring with his hoes as usual and they were wearing shirts that said Just Say No to Drugs. Ok, that is a positive message and even though the T & A was covered up, it is at least good that the WWF tried to impart a good message to their underage fans. Then that waste of space, ignorant, stupid sumbitch Godfather goes through that stupid promo and says "For all of those people that know that The Godfather be pimping hoes nationwide (I'm not bothered yet, but here it comes), Roll a fatty fo this pimp daddy, light that sticky green up and say Pimping Ain't Easy". Okay let me get this straight, the hoes wear anti-drug shirts and The Godfather says to light up a blunt. You know I try not to take wrestling seriously (such as angles like the Big Show / Big Bossman) but this pisses me off, first off his promo sucks to begin with. Second, he can't wrestle. Finally, third off, he is a contradicting ass. Ok, now for my Move of the Week, brought to you by those people at Pepto Bismol (get it, Move = Pepto Bismol. It is something that helps you make things move. Do I have to spell it out for you people?) Anyways the move of the week is, Road Dogg's moonsault clothesline on Smackdown, did anyonw know he could pull that off. In a match with the greatest high-flyers, The Hardys, he pulled of a stunning move by running up the turnbuckle and hitting a spectacular move. I was shocked and stunned. Well that is all for today, hopefully things get better next week or I may have to call for a boycott of the WWF. Until next time... A-B-C-D-E-F-G, my name is the R-O-Double B, I don't care if you like me or ya hate me, I won't let you bastards manipulate me. All you other columnists don't get the props, your columns hurt like bellyflops. So just go away and leave me be, the World Champion, the R-O-Double B. |