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 The nightmare is alive and well. Behold one and all bear witness to the coming. His return will bring rage, pestilence, disease, and plagues of epic proportions. He is the one with many names. The overlord, the wicked king, the evil prince, the cruel commander, the dark child. You may call him The Robb. That is right, The Robb has returned. The Ayatollah of Columnollah is back from the dark side. What's up people. I hope all my Robbaholics are doing well this fine day. I was amazed this week by the under whelming response to my last column where I laid my heart on the line asking for support of my column. Well that teaches me to put so much faith in a bunch of inbred, illiterate pieces of sh*t like most of you out there. I say most because not everyone is an asshole. For example, I am not an asshole, the members of my staff are not assholes, my family and friends aren't assholes. You people that read my columns and just take for granted that I sit on my ass for hours writing a column for your to enjoy and never write in, are in fact assholes. It's true, it's true. I hate assholes. There is one thing that I hate more than inconsiderate readers and that is inconsiderate webmasters. You should too. They hate you even though you love them. You write to them asking them questions like they are f*ckin Yoda. I would love to show you how they talk about you; the things they tell me are amazing. One said and I quote "This business would be great if it weren't for the fans". Nice way to think about your target audience huh? You write to them, they don't care. Me, I care. Me, I it on my ass working on a site that should be the best ever. I add video clips, chat rooms, places for amateur columnists to come and audition their columns for all to see, mailing lists, polls. I do all this for you, and what do I get in return, 4 e-mails a week. I appreciate those few that write me and I write them back long e-mails answering all the questions. So you go ahead, read my column and enjoy it. While you are reading try to think of the person behind the madness, try to think of someone besides your damned selves for 2 seconds. At this point I don't care if you write me long glowing e-mails or even if you want to send me a blank e-mail. I would just like to feel like I am making some sort of impact on someone. Thank you to my true fans that let me know. I do this for you. For the last few weeks I have been pissed on by two groups of people (besides the aforementioned jackasses), internet smarts and the freakin PTC. First these "I-know-it-all" smarts e-mail me with "Why don't you be objective" bullsh*t. Objective? Objective? This is my damned column, filled with my damned opinions. How is a columnist supposed to write an objective column? It would sound like this: "Hulk Hogan left WCW, maybe it was a shoot, maybe it wasn't. I have no opinion on this or anything else". Objectivity is for Priests and Judges and how objective are those two groups? So you guys, you smarts, can take objectivity wrap it around your middle finger and stick it up your objective asses. Secondly, this group of human waste called the PTC are the most hypocritical pieces of garbage in human history. I received an e-mail last week from an unidentified member of the PTC telling me that by and I quote "Perpetuating the popularity of wrestling I am adding to the decay of the moral fiber of America". Wow, they give me too much credit! I can't even get double digits in e-mail messages and I am corrupting the moral fiber of America. That is pretty damned cool. I don't think it is wrestling that is corrupting our morals. I haven't seen too many parents beating the f*ck out of their kids on wrestling, have you? Have you seen anyone decapitate a black man by dragging him behind a truck on wrestling? I have seen that sh*t on the news though. Is the news perpetuating the corruption? Are television shows really to blame? My theory is that parents are to blame. If my parents spent time with their kids teaching them right and wrong we wouldn't have half of the problems we have presently. I have been watching violence on TV, and listening to rap music since I was a small kid. Does that mean I am a bad person? No, I am a great person; I respect my parents and elders. I go to school, work, and pay my taxes. I don't do drugs, I don't kill people. I am a normal 21 year old. I am not the exception to the rule either, my friend have similar backgrounds and are the same as me. Wrestling if anything mirrors our current level of existence and society. Would 4:20 and "Time to burn one" be so catchy if drugs weren't so popular? Would the level of violence on TV be so extreme if this country was not so used to violence that it has become antiseptic to it. I say try to fix things in society before you attack our entertainment. To that member of the PTC, I emailed you a very nice letter (no bullsh*t, it was very nice and professional) and never received a reply but I did receive a post on my message board from you people using some not-so-nice words. Hypocritical F*cks!!! I feel that maybe I have been a bit biased and to counteract that before I get more hate mail (which I am actually posting on my site) I have decided to let a young man who is basically the antithesis of The Robb write a small segment in my column. His name is The Enigma and he is from Canada. He is also a huge WWF mark but will not admit it. His segment titled "Seeing Red" will take the place of my segment "Jerk of the Week" because frankly there are too many jerks just to name one per week. So enjoy the rest of the column and look for his segment toward the end. Tomorrow or today or even yesterday or the day before is Fully Loaded. The major problem with writing a column is the time frame involved. If I write my predictions and thoughts the Sunday before the week of the PPV then no one remembers a word I said, plus the card will most likely change or not be available. The problem about writing this column the Sunday of the PPV is that many of you don't get around to reading it until after the PPV. I can't write the column any other day but Sunday and the PPV is very important so I have to do it this way. If you are reading this after Fully Loaded is over you can check my work and see how I did. Check if I am really that damned good! Well without further adieu I present to you The Robb's Quick Predix for WWF Fully Loaded 2000. World Wrestling Federation Championship - The title can change hands on a disqualification - The Rock vs. Chris Benoit - I don't get this Triple Main Event thing. They are all good matches but even the WWF has publicly stated that they expect this to be the least watched PPV of the year. The hype doesn't match the card at face value. In my opinion Chris Benoit has not been involved with WWF fans long enough to warrant a title run. Based upon pure wrestling ability I would say that he is superior to almost anyone if the WWF, but since when does ability appeal to any WWF marks? The Rock is getting boring as the champion; I think he should remain as the hunter never the hunted. Who knows what is up the sleeves of Vinnie Mac for this match? Rumor has it that Vince wants to counteract the interest in WCW with a big surprise of his own for this PPV. I think something is going to go terribly wrong and Rock will get DQ'd and lose the belt, maybe by interference. Maybe something similar to what happened during the Triple H / Rock Iron Man Flop will occur with a face interfering on Rock's behalf and thus giving Benoit the belt. If I was Shane McMahon as soon a the bell rang I'd run up and whack the hell out of Benoit with a chair giving him the win by DQ. Easy enough huh? Why doesn't anyone do that? Winner: Chris Benoit, New WWF Heavyweight Champion Last Man Standing Match - Triple H vs. Chris Jericho - This one may have already been booked months ago. The seeds of a feud between Triple H and Kurt Angle were planted a long time ago. From the first time we saw Steph and Kurt have some affinity for each other it was obvious they would be paired together in the future. Triple H has shown signs of jealousy in the last few weeks. After Steph was kissed by Jericho at the last PPV Hunter blamed Steph for not fighting him off. Then when she was caught mid-embrace with Angle Triple H then took out his frustrations on the Olympic Hero. This match may just be a prelude to things to come. Jericho may get the win in this match and put out Hunter for a while due to some interference on Steph's part. Then Steph and Angle will join forces for a quick feud with Jericho or even the WWF champ. Winner: Chris Jericho The Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle - The third "jewel" of the Triple Main Event. Undertkaer has been ruled out of the title picture because of his health problems and the workload that it takes to hold on to the title. Angle will definitely be part of the World Title picture in a few months. I predict that he will be the champ before year's end barring a return by Stone Cold (a heel Stone Cold). This match will not go down cleanly. Angle can't do a clean job and be elevated, Taker can do a clean job and maintain his pop but it probably won't happen. I think the heavily rumored heel turn by Kane will actually take place during this match-up. A Kane vs. Undertaker feud would be great in elevating Kane to main event status. I cna't really think of what the impetus for the heel turn would be aside from the fact that Undertaker burned Kane alive or that Taker did not come to Kane's aid when he was being beaten with a chair by Angle. Who knows? I am sure the writers will come up with something. Winner: Kurt Angle with a little help from the Big Red Machine Tag Team Championship - Edge & Christian vs. the Acolytes - The spot with Edge and Christian at the bar on Smackdown was funny, but who the hell is Joe? By the way, Sodas Rule!!! This match will probably go to the Acolytes to get a little more pop towards the belts. Edge and Christian have lost a lot of their heat due to their gimmick being stale. The Acolytes are till enjoying a huge pop due to the fact that they are not overused or overexposed. Their gimmick is laid back and the fans are really responding to it. You can't always account for taste. I don't mind the Acolytes but I think a clothesline is a dumb finisher no matter how strong it is. Also why are they still called the Acolytes, and acolyte is a follower. The Lord of Darkness, bath robe wearing Undertaker gimmick is over and they aren't following anyone. Winners: New Tag Team Champions, The Acolytes Steel Cage Match for the Intercontinental Championship - Val Venis vs. Rikishi - A Rikishi heel turn has been rumored for awhile now. I wouldn't mind that as long as he covers up his ass and doesn't get a main event push. Although I can't think of a way that he could turn heel in this match, the official turn would have to come on Monday unless Too Cool somehow gets involved. There is no doubt that Rikishi gets over, but it is because of his ass not his in ring skill. People say Rikishi is agile, why because he can move side to side without falling down? I was thinking that a returning Vicsera (with a new gimmick) could form a formidable tag team with Rikishi. Val Venis is finally getting a good push after seemingly dropping his porn star gimmick. I guess unlike Samson (from Samson and Delilah, in the Bible, see PTC I know my religious sh*t) his hair was holding him back. Venis should hold the strap for a while longer just as a thank you from the WWF for being pushed back for so many years. Winner: Ex Porn Star, Val Venis Tazz vs. Al Snow - Tazz is back!!! Man I marked out totally when he grabbed the stick on RAW. Brian you were right. "W-O-R-OHHHHH... Why Oh, because I just choked your ass out!!!" Man I was dying when Tazz said that. As many of you know I hate Too Cool, especially Scotty and his tiny worm. Anyways, even though I a thrilled that Tazz is back I am disappointed in the match they set up for him. Al Snow? Al Snow hasn't gotten over since his semi-feud with Mankind. Tazz was getting some good heat by attacking the top faces but what is he going to accomplish by beating up on a guy no one cares about. You don't see many Snow websites out there. Well maybe there are because I keep getting mail about loving head...get it? Ok all joking aside; Tazz can't do a job here. Winner: Tazz, the Human Suplex errr Wrecking Machine. Six-Person Tag-Team Match - The Hardy Boyz and Lita vs. T&A and Trish Stratus - Toss out the Hardyz and T & A and just let Lita and Trish go at it without Steven Richards around. Man, these two ladies are fine! They can wrestle too. Lita takes bigger bumps than Flair, however Flair still has the bigger breasts. Back to the match, inter-gender matches rarely work but this one could due to Lita's willingness to take big bumps. I would hope that the Hardyz would get a push back to the tag champ ranks, but I doubt it will happen. Winner: T & A. Onto some ECW news. Last weekend we saw three great things come out of Heatwave 2000. One was the incredible Van Terminator. A springboard dropkick for one side of the ring to the other, ha anything like that ever been done before? If you missed it you can go to Raw Attitude (http://rawattitude.cjb.net) and click on Raw Clip of The Month to see it. The next two thing we saw were Francine' breasts, although they were covered by electrical tape we still got a nice glance. ECW has to be the best show in town. The reason I say this is because of the versatility of their wrestlers. Each one has more than 5 moves. 5 moves seem to be the industry standard when it comes to the WWF and WCW. When was the last time The Rock climbed the ropes? When is the last time Goldberg executed a Plancha? Sh*t, Roadkill weighs almost 100 pounds more than both and he can fly like a small man. Even Big Sal E. Graziano goes to the second rope to give a leg drop. Nova has about the same amount of moves as the entire WWF roster combined. So I say to all you WWF and WCW marks, give ECW a try you may be impressed. ECW Heatwave 2000 was not without controversy though. A few XPW wrestlers were thrown out of the building after one of the supposedly assaulted Francine. Now most columnists are dodging this event or playing the fence on this one, they however have no balls. XPW was totally out of line on this one, they buy up front row seats at the PPV just to promote XPW, fine. The thing that pisses me off and I am sure pissed Heyman and company off was the fact that the XPW contingent was chanting ECW sucks and harassing the fans and wrestlers. I don't know if Francine was actually assaulted but I do know that XPW was way out of line. They had this whole thing planned and it worked out perfectly, they are now getting the press they wanted. Isn't it ironic that Sabu, XPW's champ and former ECW star decided against going to the show to promote? Maybe he has some class after all. Now it is time for a few random thought from the mind of the madman, me... I think Thunder was the best program of the week. It has grown leaps and bounds since the barely watchable show put on by Sullivan and crew. The wrestler of the night was Mike Sanders who made his debut with a win over Crowbar using Jeff Jarrett' guitar. After the match Jarrett meets up with Sanders and tell him he would give him some tips on swinging a guitar and WHAM, Jarrett whacks Sanders over the head with the guitar. A few minutes later Sanders is finally stirring and BOINK, Daphnee clonks Sanders over the head with a chair. Even later Sanders once again makes it to his feet and BANG, Kanyon Kutter on Sanders. Kanyon went on to Kanyon Kut 3 people that night. That is about his average for Thunder. He is my nominee for comedic performance by a wrestler this year. Sorry if this sounded like a bad episode of the Adam West Batman series. Bang! Zip! Zoom! Boink! You heard it hear first folks, last week I told you that the ICP was rumored to return to WCW on Nitro and there they were right next to Vampiro who was sporting a nice new face paint job. Who knows if that was a one time deal or not, I hope we get to see the ICP again as they get a massive pop and are pretty good wrestlers too. Just thought I'd toot my own horn. Lance Storm is the new Canadian Heavyweight Champion. The final bracket of the former US Title came down to two ECW alumni, Mike Awesome and Lance Storm. Storm defeated Awesome with a one leg Boston Crab. I was expecting Storm to get a push but not this quickly. Good job by WCW bookers. What do you think about the current state of WCW? Is it much better, about the same or suck ass? You can now vote in the Raw Poll (http://rawattitude.cjb.net). Now it is time for what I promised you in the beginning...to even up the score here is Seeing Red brought to you by The Enigma. Enjoy and I'll be back after he's through bashing me. Sup people, I am The Enigma and this is my first edition of Seeing Red in over 6 months. I used to work for The Robb at what was The Robb's Wrestling Website, now Raw Attitude. I left after a few let's say philosophical differences. I figure I will take this first edition to familiarize you with my ideas. Robb is right about one thing and that is about all, I do bash him a lot. WCW Sucks totally. Lance Storm is about the only person in that whole roster I would actually watch. The WWF is so much on top of things at all times. Too Cool is the best tag team ever. The worm is one of the coolest moves ever. I am a huge Stone Cold fan and there in no way he is coming back as a heel. That would be a total waste of his talent. It doesn't matter if some people are now watching WCW because look at the ratings, the WWF has been winning the ratings war for over a year now. Why is that? Because the WWF is far superior to the crap that the WCW can put on TV. Well that is enough for today. I will be back next week if you can stay with Robb's bullcrap long enough to get to my section. You can email me at EnigmaticWorm@yahoo.com. Laters. The Robb is back! Well that was total and utter crap. The last thing I read that was that bad was in a Sam Jerry column, the only guy that writes like 3 paragraphs and wins awards. What a joke, but that is what you guys want. Now onto the Robb's Soundtrack of the Week. This week's soundtrack has a lot to do with wrestling. In fact it features The People's Champ, The Rock. Of course I am talking about Wyclef Jean's “It Doesn’t Matter”. Once again Wyclef comes across with a nice bass line and good beat. His flow is on par with his prior efforts. The Rock adds some comic relief to the song and opens it up to new audience. The Rock is the true Multimedia Champion. He is a movie star (this week it was confirmed he would star in the Mummy 3), a rap star, cover boy, and more. Not since Hulk Hogan has anyone been this mainstream. I think that Rock will possibly be more famous in the movie industry than Hogan, anyone remember Mr. Nanny? How about Suburban Commando? Now it is time once again for everyone to come aboard the Drop the Mic train, brought to you once again by our friends at Hooked on Phonics. This week’s nominees who need to star in the Piano 2 or Children of a Lesser God 2 are... If you have no clue what I am talking about, they were both movies about mute people. Okay I admit it, this lead in really sucked. 1 ) Stevie Ray - Who's brainfart was it to have him as a color commentator? He shouldn't even be allowed to look at a mic, not to mention talk into one. 2) Konnan - Like the WCW announcing core isn't bad enough with Mark "Fat Bastard" Madden, they add Konna to the mix for a while. You can look for the orrale ese to be at the color commentator position during Filthy Animals matches until he is fully healed from surgery. 3) Torrie Wilson - Rounding out this all-WCW edition of Drop the Mic is the beautiful Torrie. Hey get it "rounding out"? I swear that was not intentional. Torrie proved on Thunder she is best seen not heard. She is still incredibly fine and I feel bad now for nominating her. I'll be nice, he just needs to polish up her mic work a bit. Okay, well there is a huge thunderstorm coming and I better send this bad boy out before the power cuts off and I am screwed. Thanks to my "true" fans for coming by and remember to please drop me a line (RobbisWAR@aol.com) or at least drop by Raw Attitude (http://rawattitude.cjb.net). Just this week we have added so many features you won't recognize us. Also if you are a prospective columnist you can now post your column with us with no discussion, just drop by our page and go to the link that says Post Your Column Here Now and it will bring you to a posting URL. Just fill out the info and paste your column. Webmasters from almost every site I post at will be checking that board for the next Robb. Who knows it could be you. Also if you are interested in writing movie, music, or game reviews please visit Raw Attitude and apply for these positions as well as Play by Play reporter, newsboard reporter, graphics editor and more. We are always looking for a few good people. Well that is all from the column that has it all, hope you enjoyed your weekly dose of the intellectually transmitted disease. I will infect you once again next week. "I am pissed but can you blame me, I do this for you not I you see. So please drop me a line, you may read other columns but you gotta love mine. Until next time I am the columnist that cares, but you people treat me like I am invisible like air. I'll be later if you write to me you see, cuz it's me, it's me, that R-O-Double B." |