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 As I sat at my keyboard trying to think of something to write that would be remembered as one of the greatest columns of the year 2G, I thought of all kinds of things to write about, but nothing really struck me as column-worthy. What would be a good way to end the year that could be the last of mankind? Well I don’t know whether I have accomplished that or that I even care if I did. All I know is that if there was a prize for the number one columnist of the year 2000, it would definitely go to The Robb, without a doubt. Let's face it, besides a few lawsuit happy bitches, everyone loves The Robb. Year in review: WWF- Someone take this horse to the glue factory. This has been basically the worst year in pro wrestling and as always the WWF is leading that pack of weak ass performers. In the past year we have seen nothing but the elevation of more McMahons. What is the WWF? My answer is the McMahon training ground. While Satan aka Vince is off with his surefire failure XFL he is grooming Shane and Steph to take his place and ensure that a McMahon will always overshadow his wrestlers. There has also been no progress of angles in the last year. We had Austin / McMahon for over a year and even with Austin sidelined for most of the year has anything changed? Well now we have Austin / Triple H closing out the year (I realize he is currently feuding with Regal, but do you think that Austin will job to Regal?). Triple H might as well be called Hunter Hearst McMahon. Even when a wrestler is the top heel and involved he has to be entangled with the McMahon Klan. Rocky was Corporate Champ when he feuded with Austin and now Triple H is married to Vince's untalented but appealing (in a whorish way) daughter. Talent-wise the WWF has more talent than they can work with but does a fairly good job with them with notable exceptions being ECW alumnists. The Dudleys, Jericho, Tazz and Raven are sorely being misused. A look toward the future: Well if things continue to go the way they are going now, the ratings war may once again go the way of WCW. Oh wait no that won't happen because Eric "Can't wait to screw up WCW again" Bischoff will be back with that f'n bald orange tanned piece of crap Hulk Hogan soon. There is really no competition for the WWF. What that means is the McMahon Juggernaut will continue winning the ratings. With the advent of the XFL Vince can soon start on other projects like XSL (Xtreme Softball League) and the highly awaited XML (Xtreme Masturbation League). I figure McMahon can put his face on anything at it'll sell at this point... Coming late 2001 from the producers of Independence Day, the story of a man who clawed his way up from a privileged childhood to become the ruler of Hell. He has doled out steroids to employees and convinced them to risk their health and lives for him. No it isn't Freddy. Move over Jason. Get outta the way Michael Myers. Forget Big Tobacco he is the leading cause of death and destruction in the wrestling industry. He is Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Year in review: WCW- Is it just me or is WCW really, really messed up right now? They have a clear shot at taking out the ailing WWF but won't take advantage because they have so many internal problems. Who is running WCW now? I bet a bunch of monkeys could run WCW better. Wait I'll up that to a bunch of really stoned monkeys. No, how about blind stoned monkeys with Attention Deficit Disorder? Anyways Vince Russo should be the man in charge but he got injured pulling a McMahon. The reason I don't fault Russo for copying McMahon is because the idea was original in WCW and he wasn't always involved in storylines. He came around when they needed him, not when he needed to placate his ego. I really miss Russo. I really hate Bischoff. Am I the only one who has a sense of impending doom for WCW? If Bischoff comes back it is almost certain that Hulk Hogan will come back with him. What happens to Jeff Jarrett in this case? He helped with the screwing of Hogan, what becomes of him, Jobberville or the Unemployment office? Maybe he can go back to the WWF and start beating up women again. Look to the future: "The sky is falling, the sky is falling." Maybe just maybe Eric Bischoff will wake up and realize what a bad move buying WCW would be or maybe he will just never wake up again. Either way WCW would benefit if they cannot be sold. In my opinion the biggest bitch in this whole situation is Ted Turner. He is ready to dump WCW and concede victory to Vince McMahon. So he lost a few million on WCW, I'm sure he can make that up by casting Daisy Fuentes and Sting in another classic like Shitter Speed. It is hard to predict WCW's future, if Russo comes back and takes control they could be great. If they are bought out by Bischoff we might as well forget the last year and bid farewell to the young talent and usher in the year 1980 again with Hogan, Flair and Luger battling for the heavyweight belt. Then they can dig up Andre the Giant and go find Koko B. Ware. Year in review: ECW- Oh my! I love ECW. If ECW were a woman I’d marry ECW. Priest: Do you Robb take ECW to be your lawfully wedded wife? Robb: F yeah!!! Okay maybe I am exaggerating just a bit, but I would take ECW out for a nice dinner and dancing. For all the compliments I could pay to WCW and WWF, I could pay ten times more to ECW. Great roster, check. Great angles, check. Great announcing, check. Great Pay Per Views, check. ECW is basically my notion of an almost perfect wrestling organization. They have gone through such hardships this year losing talent (Taz, Raven, Mike Awesome, Lance Storm, etc) and losing their TV deal. However ECW was able to bounce back from losing talent by procuring guys like Christian York and Joey Matthews and pushing ECW mainstays like Steve Corino and Justin Credible. The loss of the TV deal may be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. Paul Heyman is currently 6 weeks behind paying his wrestlers and ungrateful SOB's like Jerry Lynn are trying to ditch ECW for the greener (and I do mean greener) pastures of the WWF. Does anyone know what a pasture is? It is a place where cows graze and shit, sounds like Vince's kind of place to me. Anyways back to my statement about wrestler's leaving ECW. I don't blame guys for leaving, it is understandable they don't want to risk getting hurt and not getting paid so my comment on Lynn is kind off just out of spite. I admire guys like Corino (who was interviewed by Raw Attitude) and Credible who could sign elsewhere but have decided to tough it out with ECW because they know it's potential. Look to the future: Like WCW it is hard to predict the future for ECW. Many wrestlers will probably jump ship and although that will keep ECW afloat it may not save ECW. The only thing that can save ECW right now is a TV deal. Supposedly ECW and USA are very close to inking a deal which will insure ECW's future. However this rumor ahs been flying around for months with nothing new to report. As an avid ECW mark (yes, I admit it) I would be distraught to see my favorite promotion go under. They have survived so much so far and have still produced the best PPV's of the year. Heyman and ECW are survivors, good luck to them. Okay on to my awards for the year. Now I know that many other columnists have adopted this to boost their columns, but they all suck so I will give you my totally original opinions and if you want I’d like to hear yours. Wrestling Promotion of the year: ECW. Without a TV deal they continue to put on the best show in town. Their live shows are acclaimed for being the most entertaining and their PPV's are outstanding. I was originally going to go with the WWF, because who can argue with success? Well the answer to that is, me. Just because they continuously win the ratings doesn't mean shit. Remember WCW once led the ratings for a long while. The fact is that the WWF had a banner year as far as ratings, buyrates and earnings go, but I am not a stockholder or an accountant so I don't give a crap about that. I am a fan; I care about being entertained by wrestlers, not by figures and numbers. I could care less about Vinnie Crack's stock portfolio or tax return. Neither should any hardheaded Internet geeks whose only argument for WWF supremacy relies on ratings. If you are so concerned about ratings you shouldn't be watching Smackdown, you should be watching ER, it is the top rated show. In fact there are 44 more shows that beat Smackdown last week that you should be watching. Tag Team of the year: (tie) Edge and Christian - I love the bit with the kazoos. Of all the funny stuff I have seen this year, that was probably my favorite, besides Hogan getting fired on PPV. Edge and Christian have developed into great heels even though they can be whiny annoying pussies at times. Well so can most fans, but you don't hear me complaining about the average troglodyte wrestling fan, do you? Mark Jindrak and Sean O'Haire - There are no Matt's in this bunch. Unlike the Hardyz this team isn't made up of one really great wrestler and one talentless oaf. Both guys possess great skill but like the Hardyz have no mic skill. Their aerial maneuvers combined with their power make them a tag team to be reckoned with. Runners up: The Hardyz (Otherwise known as Jeff and his crappy brother), Danny Doring and Roadkill, Simon Diamond and Swinger Stable of the Year : The Natural Born Thrillers. Whatever you may think of WCW aside you have to admit these guys have what it takes. The mouthpiece, "Above Average" Mike Sanders conjures up images of an old-time Flair. Jindrak and O'Haire as mentioned before are incredible. The Perfect Event, Chuck Palumbo and Sean Stasiak, are both great young stars that can match up with just about anyone. Johnny "The Bull" is often injured but exciting when healthy. Reno is the most underestimated man in WCW right now, his finisher Roll the Dice is one of the more amazing moves in wrestling today and the man can downright wrestle. Runners Up: The Radicalz, RTC, D-Generation X (HA HA HA, I'm joking) Move of the Year: I was going to say the Fameasser but then I realized this is for the best move of the year. I am going to have to go WWF with this and say The Pedigree. My motivation behind this is not only because the move is pretty cool looking. See for me the move of the year has to be one that has been used to elevate the character using it. I couldn't in good conscience say Raven's Evenflow DDT because we only see it once a year. So with that is mind I chose the Pedigree. No move put down more top stars then Triple H and his Pedigree. He beat Kurt Angle, The Rock and retired Cactus Jack all in one year using the finisher. This year Hunter has become a star and this could not have happened had he not had such a great finisher. Imagine Triple H using the Big Boot / Leg Drop combo as his finisher. Runners Up: Anything by Kid Kash, Roll the Dice Inspirational Wrestler of the Year: Mankind - Blood, sweat and tears. This guy has been through it all. His inspirational book has risen to the top place on the New York Times best-seller list. In a time where the biggest heroes in wrestling are the bad boys, or anti-heroes, Mankind stood out from the pack. Mick Foley is a good family man and projects and image that is close to who he is, a great person. Whether as the "Commish" or as a wrestler this year, Mick Foley has entertained, amused and even tugged on the old heartstrings. Runner Up: Tommy Dreamer who abandoned main-eventing to "put over" younger up and coming wrestlers. Hogan should take not to Dreamer's sacrifice. Heartbreaking Moment of the Year: As Cactus Jack left the arena after being defeated at No Way Out in a Hell in the Cell match you could see a little tear form in his eye. It was truly a moving moment and I doubt anyone believes that it was just part of the show. The sorrow in Mick's heart after leaving the ring one last time (He would later return for one more match at Wrestlemania) was quickly replaced by a half smile and a wave to his fans. It was one of the most "real" moments in wrestling history and was truly heartbreaking. For me the moment brought on mixed feelings. I happen to be a Foley mark and was sad to see him leave but knowing as much about him as I do, I realize it was time for him to step out of the ring for the sake of his health. Runner Up: Learning Eric Bischoff was taking WCW over again. Classless Move of the Year: Vince McMahon was delivering one of his horrendous 30 minute promos a few days after being hit with the Stunner, Rock Bottom and Last Ride. Vinnie Crack was in pain and using a wheelchair to motor around and a cane to support himself. He began his promo by lambasting Mick Foley for allowing that to happen to him and then made a comment that should have made everyone's stomach turn. He hoped that he never again would have to "suffer the indignities of spending your life in a wheelchair". Meanwhile one of his employees Darren "Droz" Drozdov is laid up at home and has to spend his life in a wheelchair. I know it is only a show and that Vince is a character but even the character should have more sense to watch what he says, especially since he is partly responsible for Droz's condition, being his employer and all. There is nothing undignified about being paralyzed and living your life like that. Heel of the Year: (tie) HHH. With most of the best WWF heels being used as faces and the WWF in turmoil Triple H has shouldered the burden of being at times the one distinct main event heel in the WWF. After his turn at last year's Wrestlemania, HHH suffered through a crappy feud with DX, and was terrible on the mic. Expectations of him as a real-deal heel fell. However, Triple H has grown much better on the mic (please just stop calling everyone “Jack” Hunter) and is much more credible as a heel in the ring. The revelation that he was the man behind the plot to run over Stone Cold cemented his position as a heel for a long time to come. The only problem I see with his character is that he survived a 40-foot drop in a car but suffered very little damage in Armageddon's Hell in the Cell and is laid up in traction. If you watch the match carefully he gets the last move in, a neckbreaker on Austin. Then he falls down to the floor and waits till the match ends. Other than that he has been a monster heel and a great player for the WWF. Justin Credible. No one knows more about putting a company on your back than Justin Credible. While ECW's top name Rob Van Dam, was out with and injury and later cavorting with movie stars, Credible was holding the company up. Known for being overcritical with himself and often disappointed in his performance Credible should be especially proud of his work this year. This year he went from a tag team specialist to ECW Champ. His matches are always entertaining and his promos are great. Credible has come a long way since his turn in WWF as Aldo Montoya. Runners Up: Vince Russo, Scott Steiner, Rikishi Face of the Year: I am very sorry but I really can't go with Rock for reasons I will state later but I had to go with my heart and say Steve Corino. I know you all are saying "What the hell?" but it is my column so stop saying that. Corino began the year as a whiny Jericho-esque (WCW) heel but made a complete 180 and is now a solid fan favorite. It was easy to overlook him as a main-eventer and just consider him a comedy act. When I found out that Raw Attitude was going to be able to snag an interview with Steve I paid much more attention to him than I did before. I mean he was doing a huge favor for free and for a site that is not one of the elite. As soon as I started looking at his matches closely I could see that he was in line for a big push, he not only had the skill in the ring but he can command that mic better than any wrestler in ECW besides Simon Diamond. Did I mention there is an interview with him on Raw Attitude's main page located at http://www.rawattitude.com? Runners Up: The Rock, Stone Cold, Mankind Elevator Award: This award is for the wrestler who did more with his push than any other this year. I have to give that award to Booker T. Booker lost his match at Bash at the Beach with Kanyon due to Jeff Jarrett's interference. However after the Hogan / Jarrett match of the year, Booker was granted a title shot at Jarrett later that same night. In one night Booker went from wallowing in the midcard to being the Heavyweight champ. I like most others doubted it would last as people couldn't buy a midcarder as a legit champion, but after wins over the biggest and best WCW could throw at him Booker proved himself as a great champ. Runners Up: Scott Steiner, Justin Credible, Steve Corino, William Regal Match of the Year: This is going to be very unpopular but I have to go with the ladder match for the number one contendership for the WCW Cruiserweight title. I was originally going to go with the Dudleyz / Hardyz match but after comparing the two I have no choice but to be the obvious black sheep and go with the WCW version. The reasoning behind this was the amount of sickening bumps and sheer creativity of the men involved. Never in my life have I seen wrestlers fashion a scaffold out of ladders and use it to torture their opponents. Maybe the contestants involved (Kaz Hayashi, Yang, Evan Karagias, Jamie Knoble, Shannon Moore and Shane Helms) are not as over as the Hardyz but remember it took Matt and Jeff their own ladder match versus Edge and Christian to get over. Runners Up: Hogan / Jarrett B.A.T.B., TLC Match: Dudleyz v. Hardyz Worst Match of the Year: This as opposed to the last category was so easy. Austin vs. Rikishi at No Mercy. In tribute to Gorilla Monsoon I call this one the "Immobile Redneck vs. the Immense Ass". Did anyone think this match could be entertaining? I sure as hell didn't. The worst part was the build up. It was made out to be an anything goes, no holds barred, nothing is illegal match. They even made it a point to say that no matter what all criminal charges would be waived. So what happens, Austin attempts to run down Rikishi and the cops stop it. Am I missing something here? Runner Up: This is just too stupid not to explain. Rock vs. Chris Benoit, WWF Title Match. Rock was champ and going in to the PPV had to abide by a decision that if he was DQ'd he would lose the belt. Well Benoit had Shane McMahon in his corner and Rock was on his own. This might not make the match stupid but if this was really a stipulation and if wrestling was real and not intent on insulting our intelligence why wouldn't Shane just clobber Benoit getting Rock DQ'd? That way Benoit wins the title and I am sure he would forgive Shane for nailing him with the ring bell, title belt, tub of Vaseline, steel plated vibrator, you know whatever Shane keeps handy. The Trish Stratus Best Ass(et) Award: Last year I had to give it to Debra but I really wanted to give it to Francine. I still really want to give it to Francine. I would love to give it to Francine, I am dying to give it to Francine. So you know what I am going to give it to Francine. Francine gets my award for Manager of the Year. The prize is my phone number... Runners Up: Lita (More of a wrestler), Midijah, Major Gunns, Trish The Rikishi Worst Ass(et) Award: Although this particular valet / manager is relatively new this person has struck a large amount of discord with me. The winner is the ever-revolting Tiger Ali Singh. Yes, I realize he isn't really new but he hasn't been around much this year, plus I needed to say that to try to deceive you into thinking it was someone else. Lo Down has the talent to be a major force in the tag team ranks. However they are now saddled with the overtly racist evil Hindu gimmick. Am I the only one that thinks that someone somewhere should be pissed about this gimmick? Well I guess it is no more racist than the lowrider driving, G.E.D. seeking, Latino Heat. Damn whatever happened to ethnic sensitivity or at least good sense? Runners Up: Jacky (someone please deflate her), Ivory, Tygress Lita Award : I created this category for those valets that are much more than just T & A. I named this the Lita award since Lita is the only deserving candidate for this award. Trish is fine as hell but she can't wrestle. Ivory can wrestle but she is annoying. Chyna is so hypocritical it makes me sick. It is okay for her to have all the plastic surgery in the world but she goes on television shows bashing Trish and others for it. Anyways Lita combines her amazingly sexy look with ring skill that puts many of her male coworkers to shame, especially her cohort Matt "The Other" Hardy. Catch Phrase of the Year: “Whatcha Gonna Do...?” I’m sorry that is what makes me laugh the most. Actually I still have to go with “It doesn’t matter..”. Never before has a wrestling catch phrase been tossed around schoolyards like that gem from The Rock. Well maybe, “Suck It”. Runners Up: "Sodas Rule", "And that’s final", "You'll be S.O.L, and you know what that means", and “It’s me, it’s me, it’s that R-O-Double B” Drop the Mic Year End Award (For the 3 guys who sucked the most ass on the mic this year) : The first Drop the Mic award brought to you as always by our good friends at Hooked On Phonics goes to The Rock. I know it seems rather hypocritical to give it to him seeing as I just gave him the Catch Phrase award but hear me out. How many times are we going to hear about monkey's nipples or llama's asses? I don't know about you but I am sick of hearing Rocky talk about the anatomy of wildlife. Rock had maybe one or two good promos this year, which is way behind his average. So Rocky should go back to the drawing board and rethink the direction of his character and maybe he'll want to form a tag team with Mideon and they can be the Sheep Lovin' Godwinns again. The second award goes to Chris Jericho who utterly sickened me and made me sad I ever was a Jerichoholic. I apologize for ever saying that Jericho was a great addition to the WWF roster. All he ahs become is a goofy catch phrase spewing Rock wannabe. At one time Jericho was amazing on the mic, of course he was a heel at the time and not a pathetic babyface. So Jericho a former Jerichoholic begs you to heed your own advice and please "Shut the Hell Up". The third and final award goes to Mr. T because of the word "jibba jabba". Ooops sorry I got sidetracked. The third award goes to the all star WCW announce team of Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Mark Madden and Stevie Ray. In a startling turn WCW fired Madden and seemingly improved their announcing core until they replaced him with Konnan. This is like the doctor telling you he can cure your cold but you have to live the rest of your life with genital warts. At least Madden said something halfway amusing once a month. Konnan is just, what's the word, oh yeah, a big pile of sh*t who injures himself every week. As for the rest of those jackasses, there is nothing that can be said that would truly convey my feelings towards them but (CENSORED)!!!! Interview of the Year: Unfortunately there was no interview quite as good as last year's offerings like Triple H breaking Jim Ross' arm. If you wanted to see someone make The Robb pop like crazy you should show him a tape of that segment. Anyways the award has to go to Edge and Christian. It was not an interview but rather a segment featuring the newly appointed Commish Mick Foley. The dynamic duo asked Foley to bring them some sodas and Foley obliged. As the camera pulled back to go to commercial Edge uttered words that will forever remain in the minds of any person watching that night, "Sodas Rule". Well sodas may rule but that night Foley became their waiter and worst enemy. Runner Up: Rock's impersonation of Austin, HHH, Taker, Rikishi and Angle before Armageddon, Terry Funk's return as Santa Claus (Similar to Santa on crack, you gotta love Funk) Announcer of the Year: For the second year running I have to go ECW and say Joey Styles is the greatest play-by-play man in the business today. He combines his great wit with the savvy of an innocent bystander to a perfect mix of innocence and naïveté. He plays his role to a “T”. Being accompanied to PPV’s by the greatest color commentator in the business (Cyrus) doesn’t hurt his stature either. Runner Up: Jerry Lawler Debut of the Year: The New Stars of the WCW. The Thrillers to KweeWee, Elix Skipper, Alex Wright (returning), Mike Awesome, Crowbar, 3 Count, Jung Dragons, Big Vito, Lance Storm and others. All are new to WCW and are making immediate and lasting impacts on the company. With the addition of ex-ECW stars and guys from WCW's Power Plant the fortunes of WCW were shifted from downtrodden laughable promotion headlined by stars with grandkids to a promotion thriving on youthful excitement. It is a shame that all may go to sh*t if Bitch-off returns. Runners Up: William Regal's return to the WWF, Kid Kash, Right to Censor Rookie of the year: Lance Storm. He is no rookie in terms of experience but he is a rookie in WCW. In one year he held three different titles, at the same time too. Storm is amazing in the ring and is improving his mic work. Team Canada is extremely over as a heel faction. Storm made huge strides from feuding with cruiserweights, to a brief union and feud with Kidman to the Canadian Champ. Runner Up: Chuck Palumbo Biggest Waste of Money PPV: Live from Albany, New York came the biggest shitfest in recorded history. No Vince McMahon was born in Connecticut, but close. I am talking about WWF No Mercy. From a idiotic Jericho / X-Pac cage match to Austin vs. Rikishi it was a total bomb. This PPV was built up to be the best PPV ever but fell short of even being watchable. Now I admit I am outwardly hostile to the WWF because I have a certain disdain for anything or anyone that considers itself to be Godly. However, many WWF fans emailed me expressing their opinion that this is the point where the WWF began dropping the ball. So I am off the hook for being a play-hata. Runner Up: Every WWF PPV since September and I Generation Wrestling. Biggest Waste of Money Wrestling Merchandise: (tie) Anyone who knows me knows that I am a renowned for being a huge wrestling nut but a tightwad when it comes to buying wrestling merchandise. In the past year I have bought only one video game and two videotapes dealing with wrestling. Unfortunately the two tapes I bought were ECW Extreme Evolution and XPW Hardcore Conception. My only real beef with Extreme Evolution is that it is too short and that there are too many recent matches to be considered their best work. XPW is another story however. I am not in an area that carries XPW and I have heard some great things about their product. So I shelled out the $12.99 and got the worst wrestling tape ever, full of uninteresting characters and stupid matches. It may sound stupid to most of you perverted readers but too many pornstars in wrestling spoil the effect. Maybe I should have been a big spender and bought XPW's Go Funk Yourself so I could at least see Terry Funk and Sabu instead of Big Dick Dudley. Travesty of Epic Proportions of the Year: The screwing of ex-ECW stars by the WWF. The Dudleys have been reduced to the lower ranks of the tag division and even had their hardcore persona killed when they danced with Too Cool. I can just picture Paul Heyman puking his guts out seeing the Dudleys "getting down" with those two queers. Tazz is getting the biggest shaft by the WWF booking since Raven's Johnny Polo gimmick (circa Wrestlemania 10). I keep tuning into WWF programming and thinking that Tazz's gimmick must be an illusion or something that only I must be seeing. I have never seen a man get screwed like that in my life, maybe I would if I took a peep into Too Gay's locker room. Tazz is probably the best ECW Champ ever and he is basically a joke in the WWF. The only other person I could think of that represents ECW greater than Tazz would have to be the aforementioned Raven. Currently he is undergoing a "humbling" process by which they job him out to losers on the level of Steve Blackman in order to check if he has an attitude problem. Raven is well known and has the potential to be a main eventer but if they keep jobbing out how is anyone to respect him? Wow, now he is the hardcore champ, until they bring back Gillberg to dominate him. Screw the hardcore division anyways, it's just a way to keep Shane's personal friend Steve Blackman employed. Surefire Flop of 2001 : The XFL. Does anyone remember the helmet cam or the World League. Gimmicky Football Leagues don't work. I am sure it will do well for awhile but I doubt it can sustain the enthusiasm of real football fans for long. It's a novelty and just like Furbys, Power Rangers and Hulk Hogan it grow old will fade away (or be forced to) and people will forget about it. This next set of awards I did by promotion: Worst Wrestlers of the Year WWF: Chyna - Continues to be used as the biggest marketing tool for little girls since Barbie. Unfortunately Barbie looks like a woman and Chyna is well rather manly. Chyna posed for Playboy and set the record for most copies sold, surpassing Rena Mero aka Sable. I guess it doesn't matter that the WWF bought enough to put her at the top. Chyna even needs help to beat people at being naked as much as she can't carry a match in the ring. Billy Gunn - Came back from injury to suck just about as much as he did before his shoulder got torn. In fact combined with his new really gay name, ring attire and music he is now worse off than before. Not to mention he is aligned with Chyna. Wow, what did Billy do to deserve this? He must have slept with Stephanie or something. Oops Vince wouldn't have minded if it would sell tickets. Too Cool - Did I predict it or what when I said they'd be off TV by the end of the year? Well they are not completely off but what happened to that monster push? Scottie 2 Hotty is the biggest waste of talent in the world. The WORM should die as fast as their careers are. WCW: Hulk Hogan - Nuff said!!! Kronik - Brian Adams and Bryan Clarke redefine boredom. They might as well go out in the audience and put everyone in a sleeper hold. Sargeant A-Wall - He is truly proof that tables don't make the man. A-Wall could stack 50 tables up and powerbomb someone through them and wouldn't get a pop walking out of the ring. He is the worst member of MIA and in my opinion the WCW locker room. ECW: Dusty Rhodes - Too old, I know he isn't working for ECW anymore, but I had no one else to berrate. Best Wrestlers of the Year: WWF: Kurt Angle - Had the greatest rookie year ever and is on route to the being one of the greatest superstars ever. Care to dispute this? Compare his success to a guy he came into the WWF at the same time, Chris Jericho. While Y2J was playing around with Ninjaboy X-Pac, Angle was winning the World Title. Mankind / Cactus Jack / Mick Foley - Pick a persona he has used this year but which ever way you remember him he is still a best-selling author and fan favorite. I could go on for days about Foley but all I have to say is Foley is GOD. Jeff Hardy - Even though he is a little feminine and names his moves really gay names he is the closest thing to ECW you get in the WWF (even from the ex-ECW guys). Until Essa Rios returns to WWF TV Jeff will be the lone high flyer on WWF Programming. WCW: Goldberg - Has beat them all, and even though he is in a terrible angle he still gets the pops. Thankfully Goldberg has improved his list of moves including a Roll the Dice-type manuever and a pump handle release German suplex. Jeff Jarrett - Run out of WWF by the homo in the cowboy hat and the face stuck on pause. Jarrett has become a major player in WCW and was involved in the greatest event in wrestling history, the public humiliation of Hulk Hogan. Scott Steiner - Finally Steiner gets the belt on him and a ton of heat. He may not be the best mic worker but he never fails to entertain. Unlike other superstars he doesn't need a fancy tagline or visual aids to get his point across. Also unlike many superstars Steiner is insane and is able to paralyze fans with fear. ECW: Kid Kash - The best high flyer in the business, ever! That is tough to say with some of the greats that have passed through ECW and the rest of the business. However I can say this unflinchingly. In the words of Joey Styles, "Kid Kash is money!". Justin Credible - I have said so much to this point praising Credible but I can't stress enough how entertaining he is. I'd recommend getting your hands on a tape of the Massacre at 34th St PPV and pay attention to Justin as he berates Jerry Lynn in the middle of the match. There is just something special about a man that picks up a mic and curses his opponent out and then whacks him over the head with it. Yes, I did pop when Rock started singing "Smackdown Hotel" and was attacked by Mankind. Steve Corino - Had one of the best promos with Jack Victory prior to the aforementioned Massacre PPV. Is great as champion and face. Did I mention that we snagged an interview with him for Raw Attitude, which is located at http://www.rawattitude.com? I wasn't sure if I mentioned that or not. Worst Angle Award WWF: The Love Triangle fiasco with Triple H, Kurt Angle and Stephanie. Did anything actually materialize from this? Angle and Steph are still connected, as are Angle and Triple H and Triple H and Steph and Vince and Satan. If anything was going to happen through this feud it should have been Triple H and Steph's breakup. All it did was waste our time and patience. WCW: Ms. Handcock's baby. Who the hell is the father? Is this angle still ongoing? I told you, cliffhangers don't work if stretched over too long of a period of time. ECW: The Network vs. ECW. Too gimmicky for ECW although it did allow Cyrus to use suck phrases as "Extreme Championship Shuffleboard". ECW's strong suit lies in its ability to entertain in the ring not in the angles. All they need is a way to show who you should hate and who you should love. When it gets complicated is when ECW is at its worst. 6 Feet Under Award : Wrestlers Being Buried by Promotions WWF: (tie) Tazz - I sense I have to explain but I really shouldn't have to. Tazz was once Taz. Taz was ECW World Champ and an all around bad muthaf'r. Now Taz(z) is an embarrassment to ECW. He doesn't even wrestle anymore, and when he does he is jobbing to likes of Jerry Lawler. Essa Rios - Am I the only person that finds him really entertaining? WCW: Elix Skipper - I'd like to see him in the ring a bit more than he usually is. It would be great to see him get in the middle of the rejuvenated Cruiserweight division. ECW: Nova - Why? Why? Why? Why is Nova constantly being buried? I think he is one of the best wrestlers around now but he never gets a worthy push. From his goofy ring attire to his ability to create new moves at the drop of a hat Nova seems like the kind of guy that would flourish in ECW. However there is something amiss in ECW land and Nova is being buried in favor of guys like Chilly Willy or as I call him D-Lo Brown Part 2. The Bret Hart Overall Best Wrestler of The Year Award: The Genetic Freak Scott Steiner began the year pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and playing the babyface. While he was about the retire from wrestling he joined the Bret Hart led nWo and began his reign of terror. After the dissolution of the nWo Steiner captured the US Title and turned face. This did not last long as he turned on good friend Kevin Nash at Bash at the Beach who was fighting Goldberg for the contract of Scott Hall. Since then Steiner has been on a path of destruction injuring Booker T and Sting (Thank you Steiner). The Big Booty Daddy also single-handedly did what every wrestling fan hoped and prayed for and retired Stevie Ray from in-ring action. Steiner has flourished this year and beaten every top face in WCW from Goldberg to Sid. So this year's Bret Hart Wrestler of The Year Award goes to Scott Steiner because he is the genetic freak and I am terrified of him Finally here are my top ten hopes for 2001…* 10) Kevin Sullivan never books another wrestling show and winds up booking cock fights. 9) Eric Bischoff doesn’t purchase WCW, instead he buys Touched By an Angel 8) Vince takes his head out of his ass and improves the WWF. 7) WCW continues to rely on young talent and not eldery men. 6) Vampiro comes back to WCW minus the clowns and other painted rockers. 5) We figure out what "POP" is and how TNN got it. 4) Rock and Jericho turn heel and quit acting like b*tches. 3) The McMahons vanish from TV, leaving wrestlers to do the wrestling 2) ECW gets a TV dea1while most of their wrestlers are still there. 1) Hulk Hogan never wrestles again and ends up sitting next to McHammer and Ted Dibease on the God Network *These are my realistic hopes (except for #3), I left out the ones dealing with winning the lottery and marrying Jennifer Love Hewitt. Well that is it for today, and perhaps if Y2K+1 destroys us all, maybe all-time. I just hope if humanity does cease to exist the aliens that come to this place and find all of our crap can log on to the net and see what a badass of a columnist I was. I wish you all the happiest and healthiest New Years possible and I hope to hear from every single one of you, even if it is just to say “wuzzzzzzzzzah”. Oh God, I just broke my gimmick of being an asshole. Oh well it is just for one week, so to all of you Happy New Years and remember to be good to each other, don’t do drugs, don’t break the law, and don’t have fun...Just Kidding...but try to help someone out this New Year, you can start with me and my staff, please head on over to Raw Attitude(http://www.rawattitude.com) and see why we are the Underground Heart of Professional Wrestling Websites. We may not be the biggest but we don't censor or kiss ass like the elite sites. I would like to dedicate this column to the memory of Rodney "Yokozuna" Anoia, Joe C. and my dearly departed cowebmaster Nick Adams. I would also like to wish a Happy and hopefully healthier New Year to Darren Drozdov. Get well, we are praying for you Droz. “Well maybe the world will end, but in me you always have a friend. So adios, ce’st la vie, it’s me, it’s me that R-O-double B.” |