I've come up with a great anagram to describe WWE marks, it is S.Q.U.I.R.R.E.L.S. Not because they are cute and cuddly since most WWE fanatics are unattractive, fat losers who will never be cute to anyone besides their trailer trash mothers. The reason I chose this name besides the obvious turn of the phrase "Me Against the World" is because the squirrel isn't exactly the most brilliant animal in the kingdom. In that way WWE marks are the same, they are not especially bright people, in fact they are an affront to the word "smart" and all of it's synonyms. If you are offended by this broad generalization, consider yourself a S.Q.U.I.R.R.E.L. Well here is the breakdown of why I would bash these assholes...

Stupid - Obvious enough, "Stone Cold Rulz"
Quaint - Meaningless, small people
Useless - "Has-beens", Nope. "Never-will-be's" is more like it.
Insecure - With their stupid signs and bravado, covering for something or lack thereof
Ridiculous - "Stone Cold Rulz"?
Relentless - Still carrying a torch for Hogan and other geriatrics
Ego Maniacal - They think they're opinion is all that matters
Liars - Will doctor and bullshit everything to fit their P.O.V.
Stooges - Getting played by their God, Vinnie Crack.

...And just like their namesakes they are content with the nuts that they are given and want nothing more. They are simple-minded folk who just want their wrasslin to be simple enough for them to comprehend. Just enough sketchy storyline so that it is clear who is good and who is bad.

At least there is some hope, Judgement Day and Bad Blood buyrates were way off from WWE projections and by all reviews the two recent PPV's was poor at best and the customers who paid were kind of miffed. Who in their right mind however would dream of a PPV featuring Kevin Nash and Triple H as an enjoyable experience? Even if this was the only bad match on the combined cards they might even be worth purchasing, but almost every match had that distinct stench of bullshit and boredom. Come on Piper vs. Hogan, who expected that to be any good? Well some people have begun to show their disdain as RAW TV ratings have been sliding a little bit lately, every little big helps and if the slide becomes any more noticeable, well you know what happens in the cartoons with the little snowball rolling down the hill.

Things that make you go "hmmmm"

Rumor around the WWE paradise has veen that Vince is growing angrier and angrier with everyone from his writers to his son, Shane. That is of course if you believe rumors and marks usually follow the word of the rumor writer, I mean news reporter like the word of God itself. Further rumors would have us believe that Vince is desperately looking for a quick fix, to his recent struggles, that is. The evidence is right there on our screens every Monday and Thursday. What else could all the recent debuts, returns and gimmicks be for? The WWE is gasping for air and it is struggling for anything or anyone is sight to help. Goldberg, Steiner and Piper are brought in to no avail because they are misusing all 3. They thought Kevin Nash would be a fan favorite to take the Title from Triple H but no one cares about him at all. The I.C. title is brought back and is in good hands but this isn't enough to change anything. L.O.D. makes an appearance but can't breath any life into the listless WWE Raw Tag Team ranks. The WWE is looking at bringing in more superstars including Sting. Why would they think bringing in the Crow-ripoff would change their fortunes for the better? They can't help but fuck up his debut like they did with Steiner and Goldberg. No there are no easy answers, no quick fixes. The only true path to salvation is to destroy and rebuild.

It has been stated that "the past is but prologue", but in the WWE it seems that "the past is the present and the future". WWE marks think that the past is something to be wallowed in. Unfortunately the past is something that is overvalued. Upon closer examination you can really see the varicose veins and flabby skin on that theory. Hogan, Flair, HBK and many many more are being used as iconic heroes because of their past accomplishments. There is a serious lack of sense behind all this nostalgia, how many past-cherishing WWE mark assrammers really care about or know anything about their grandparents or their lives, how about their parents for that matter. More stock is put in the past accomplishments of hobbling morons instead of their own families. I'd bet the same guy who could go on for ages about Hulk Hogan's storied title runs couldn't give me 30 seconds about their own families history. This just isn't an indictment of WWE fans, as a whole we have a major obsession with celebrity that extends beyond even our own lives.

There is a saying that goes a little something like this, hit it, "The key to any successful negotiation is where both parties feel like they have given up something". I believe this to be true, just think of the last truce or deal that you have made. You felt good that it was over but you still felt like you got screwed a little bit. Well Vince seems to be one of those assholes who tries to take and take but never wants to give in. That sheer ruthlessness is great for the business world for a short time but that will not last forever. All power mongers eventually meet their makers and most are due to their own arrogance and ego. That is probably why no one ever conquered the world. Most of those who tried were eventually betrayed and destroyed. Vince may not be trying to start his own nation but his power trip is beginning to get the best of him and his dream for a dictatorial wrestling world all ruled under the clan McMahon is slipping from his grasp.

The World According to Vince

I will give the DEVIL his due, Vince has made considerable strides in making the WWE the federation by which all others will be judged. However his efforts aren't the only ones that led to the WWE being in the insurmountable position it is. The wrestlers that broke their backs and lived the hardest of lives deserve more credit for making the WWE successful. Also the mistakes of others have contributed greatly to the WWE's case for wrestling domination. Whether it be that they were pushed harder because the WWE was beating the crap out of them or they were just stupid or the grasp far exceeded their reach, they helped the WWE by shooting themselves in the foot. Eric Bischoff and the powers-that-be in WCW led the fed that once dominated the WWE into the ground. Bad decision making coupled with a shaky and shoddy management killed the giant. Fiscal disasters like the "Ready to Rumble" movie and the Nitro Grill squandered their resources along with spending big-time money on a lot of crappy wrestlers. WCW did have it successes with characters like Goldberg and the nWo which was the precursor to DX. The WWE not only profited from WCW's demise but it's life, by taking WCW angles and ideas and making them their own the WWE thrived when the WCW management was switched more than the nut in a shell game in a New York subway. ECW was on the way up but poor money management killed them off, they were too small for too long, their refusal to sell out, while admirable eventually led to their demise at the hand of the endless resources available to the WWE. While in the end these two great promotions and many smaller ones did perish at the hands of the WWE they did have their effect and it can still be felt today. Many of the top stars in the WWE were once ECW and/or WCW stars.

The cold blooded killings of ECW and WCW by the murderous WWE is not a crime, it is business, a hostile takeover. If the WWE hadn't bought out WCW who knows what would have happened, who knows where those guys would have landed. The WWE might have been too foolhardy and too ready for conquest and bloodthirsty to really appreciate what would happen in a world in which there is no competition. Vince and his company are now unchecked, running around doing whatever they want. When they first were alone at the top it was obvious they were on cruise control, it was like an immediate shift from balls out competitive fire to a victory dance. We as viewers could almost smell the Gatorade shower as Vince and staff let out a collective chuckle over the ashes of WCW and ECW.

Vince may have engineered all that he has wrought but he is just another business man that doesn't know any one of his fan's names or would even care to. His care is just for business and the success for his product. He would sell each one of your souls for Let us not forget for every great decision there is Vince McMahon : Rock Concert Promoter or Vince McMahon : XFL Owner. Yes, he is a great businessman but he also makes some really dumb mistakes, geez I guess that proves he is human after all.

So where does that leave us, the mountaintop is now theirs but the summit is so high that they could tell they were alone, so what's the big deal with slacking a bit if no one can challenge them except some columnists who can't really hurt them at all? If you are Vince you are untouchable, you are a giant, a man amongst roaches. You are the all powerful ruler or time and space and you feel good, but suddenly you notice your pockets are getting lighter. Less people are happy about your victory and while it stills smells as sweet as the freshest picked rose in the garden and the sweet smell of victory is a potent as the first whiff of perfume from your lovers neck, no one else is wooing besides you. Now the reality hits you and you are alone and you need to put on that much more of an effort to get attention, no one likes they lonely guy in the room. You once were a strapping young buck, but now you are that pimply faced geek with the pocket protector hanging out on the wall at the school dances. People are leaving you for other more attractive shows but you can't give up like that. You need to reclaim your position with the people, you need to win them back from the clutches of “Raymond” and the cast of “CSI : Miami”.

You pull out all stops, you give the people what you think they need and for awhile you can blind the masses, but the dissenting voice becomes louder and more vigilant. Your competition that you feared would put you out of business was the one thing keeping you fresh in people's minds. The Monday Night Wars were good for business! People liked the drama, liked the competition. That is why there are competitive sports, that is why people love an underdog. No one wants to see the same outcome a billion times over. However that is all that the wrestling fan is left with, just the WWE and no one else. The cruise control that the WWE was on is over, the panic has set in and they are doing the same thing that criminals on "Cops" do, they are grasping for straws. Anything to avoid what may come to pass. The slide has begun, there isn't much that the WWE can do to turn it around. They tried fake competition by splitting the roster but that hasn't worked. What may be the only real answer is to recruit some competition, pull some strings to get another promotion some money and a TV deal. You are still on top but for how long, even the most die hard fans has to notice one or two problems apparent in the WWE, right? Well maybe not.

On the brink

The WWE can't ignore the cries of rational people forever. Let the corporation have their millions of worthless fuckwad fans who will follow blindly with their noses pressed tightly against the rectum of Vince McMahon. The minority of us that actually have all of our mental faculties will make the difference. All the beer bashes, street fights and phony patriotism isn't going to sway us from sending a big "Fuck You" to the richies up in Greenwich, Connecticut. This revolution doesn't have to be televised, it is obvious that the Net has gotten under the skins of WWE wrestlers and brass alike, hopefully someone will one day come upon my mad ramblings and decide that what I am saying isn't the same sanctimonious self-serving nonsense that seems to come out of the collective asses of 99%of the other columnists online. Even if my ideas are never discovered at least I feel like I have fired the first salvo at those in charge, let the War of the Opinions begin.

"It's not about East or West, it's about n***as and bitches. Power and money. Riders and punks. What side are you on?" - 2Pac

As I see it there are two sides to this war, there are the marks and the smarts, to use the overplayed and overvalued lingo of the marks themselves.

Meet the players

The Marks : Main arguments for the supremacy of the WWE hinge on the business end of the WWE's success. Marks make a big deal out of the financial rewards that they will never receive. In fact most of them will more than likely jockey a fucking 7-11 register for a career. They charge that the ratings and profit margins justify that even if their storylines suck then they are still the best thing since BJ's, well maybe not since most are prepubescent or jerk it a lot. Marks have no use for entertainment or are entertained rather easily. That argument is about as valid and worthwhile as looking for shoddy camerawork in pornos. Instead of looking for quality they look for catchphrases and things that are simple. Overlooking intriguing plot twists and dialogue, they want action but even if that fails they will settle for namebrands. They would be willing to sell their souls for Vince McMahon and most likely already have by spending huge amounts of money on WWE merchandise and PPVs. Marks have no allegiance to wrestlers despite what they'd like you to think. They will pretend that they root for geriatric wrestlers because of their history and contributions, but the real reasons they are rooting for them is because the great and powerful Oz, Vinnie Crack says to. When confronted with their lunacy marks either shrivel up or the more hardcore ones will rant and rave about how there are no other major promotions left because WWE killed them because of their quality when the opposite is true, it was because of their bank accounts. The WWE mark treats his wrestling like a religion and it's owner like a God.

The Good : Blindly faithful, generally make vegetables look reasonable so you can't hate them too much.
The Bad : Where to begin.

The Smarts : Well the numbers for this group are rather low, there are a lot of poser smarts but they are more than likely doing more damage to the cause than good. Some people prefer to call them "smart marks". The acknowledge that there are problems inherit with the WWE but still profess Vince McMahon as a genius and every else as an idiot. The true smart is the one who has a general knowledge of wrestling past, appreciates it but does not wallow in it. To this person ECW would be the model for success, unfortunately the smart cares more for quality than for names or even production value. The glossy world of the WWE is just a bonus that they could live without if the action was good. WCW rarely factors in to these people since they made very little contributions except very early on and very late in it's life. The current WWE is a joke to these people. They notice that while crappy wrestlers get pushes a former idol of theirs is sitting behind an announcer's table. Many believe that competition would alleviate these problems of tired angles and boring matches. Many are searching for newer promotions or abandoning wrestling all together. However some of the more dedicated that don't follow the "if you don't like it, don't watch it" policy. They believe they have the inherit right to watch and enjoy and their right to do what they think is right to get changes made. Many realize that nothing will change because of their actions but if they at least tried then they can justify their words.

The Good : Vigilant, dedicated.
The Bad : Can be downright cruel.

Who has the advantage?

Marks :Well the numbers are on the side of the marks. They are a massive group but usually don't move unless provoked. Even when they are provoked to make a statement it is usually about as coherent as a Scott Steiner promo. They are more fit to sudden outburst of self righteous name calling, the most creative they can come up with is copying and pasting something they read on a website. They tend to commit to memory facts and figures about ratings and collate them like a giant supercomputer and call them up from memory at will. They are akin to Rain Man, idiot savants. Ask them to write out a well thought email and it will sound more like a "See Spot Run" book however ask them how long the WWE won the ratings war between the WWE and you will get an exact figure from every country in the world. Sad ain't it? The forerunners of the movement are shady webmasters who pretend to be journalists but have less in common with them and more in common with tabloid reporters.

Smarts : Even though the smarts are few and far between and rarely get together they are a strong lobby. The marks have their WWE forums to try to make a poignant argument like "Vince is God". Well the smarts have their own forums, mostly in column format. Unfortunately their columns are hard to find because most of the big websites (Raj, TPWW, another site that will sue me if I mention it again and other shit-stains) decide to give their spots to like-minded fucking morons. There are bastions of salvation for these people, smaller sites which allow a person to be themselves. The smarts are more prone to long, drawn out and well conceived ideas and will most likely fire first then wait to be attacked. When provoked the smart is most likely going to go for the "shock and awe" approach, shock them with their vocabulary and send them running for the dictionary. A smart is most likely going to have to just hammer the point home and let the moron think about it because marks will just keep replying to their thoughts with things like "Oh yeah, well you suck". The leaders of the resistance are columnists like Doc Holliday, Darth Camilo and The Franchise. People who will speak their mind without censorship and whether it is good or bad will sit back and wait for the reply.

The Outcome is written in the Guide, the TV Guide

How long will the WWE be on top? Can't be forever, one of two things will change this current path the WWE is on. Either a new, more exciting promotion will come to take on the awesome challenge of dethroning the heavyweight champ. A contender is young, upstart NWA-TNA which is the only clear cut competitor to the throne. Unfortunately not being able to find a TV deal left the upstarts to find a home on PPV. Their weekly PPV show has received critical praise as well as decent ratings. However being a PPV only show will not cut the Grey Poupon. They need mainstream exposure. TNA is seemingly reenacting WCW in a very different way, most of their talent is refuse from the WWE and defunct ECW and WCW. They recycle what isn't used and make an exciting a refreshing departure from bang-bang-bang-finisher matches of the WWE. Will TNA be the WWE's Judas? Who knows, but they would be my prime suspect to be the Brutus to Vince's Caesar. "E Tu Brute".

A second scenario is for the entire world of wrestling, this colossal universe to go the way of the dinosaurs, the Roman Empire, Power Rangers or Furbys. Yes, folks extinction could be in Ms. Cleo's cards. Unfortunately people tend to develop obsessions with certain things, we call them fads and like it or not wrestling is no more than a fad. Wrestling has been a long term fad but trust me, it is a fad nonetheless. Like most fads it has it's long-time devotees which were around before it became huge and will stick with it after. You know, when the Stone Cold tees go to Goodwill or in a box in the back of the closet blocking the porn? Wrestling had a glory period early in the 80's for us alive and coherent during that time and went out of style only to return with a vengeance later on. Yo-Yos seem to go through this cyclic up and down trend. They get really hot for a Christmas season once a decade and then nothing for years until every kid wants one suddenly. Maybe wrestling's ending is coming sooner than we think, think about it, wrestling seemed to peak a year or two ago and there is no place to go but down. With the ratings on the schnide this may be a precursor to the wrestling version of Revelations. Could the wrestling world fall victim to the same meteor that did away with rollerblading, Vanilla Ice and ZZ Cavarichis? Who knows but if it goes, hopefully it takes Reality TV with it.