Well I'd like to begin this very belated column by talking about my favorite "person" in wrestling, Mick Foley. As everybody knows Mick came back to the WWE to promote his new book and I'd be willing to bet you'd think I'd be pissed off about this but actually I am not, I am glad that he came back and used them as they have used him, as a marketing tool. Foley abandons the WWE and then is back in time to help himself more than he can help them. All the returning superstars in the world can't help them now, but more on that later. I bet many of you are saying that he sold out, and in a way he did, but you know what it was good to see Mick back in a ring, especially knowing that he has his own motives for this. All I can hope is that this is not the start of a prolonged return as many rumorists, ooops I mean newsreporters would have you believe. Foley left the WWE because he didn't like or agree with the direction they were taking and that takes a lot of testicular fortitude to ditch a paycheck for moral reasons. So he comes back, refs a match or two, promotes his book and the goes homes, plays with the kids and spends time with the wife and he is able to live the life beyond wrestling that so many stars can't do. He is the biggest success story because he lives the life he wants to and with as much integrity as a person in this business that one could possibly have. Foley gets ribbed for having an ordinary life by wrestler standards, I am sorry but his life seems much better than dying of a drug overdose in a shitty hotel room, which seems to be more ordinary than Foley's sublime life. As for Mick's book, his first work of fiction, Tietam Brown, it was recently released and early reviews have mostly been positive. It is quite a jump from children's books and wrestling stories to adult fiction but I have faith in Mick and will be purchasing my copy and reviewing it on this here site as soon as possible.

This may be a little outdated but I think it shows how important a role the internet plays in wrestling. 61% of people voting on WWE.com a bunch of Monday nights ago responded that they thought Mick Foley would be the WWE special guest referee in the Hell in the Cell match at Badd Blood. The closest other choice was Shane McMahon at 11%. The reason I say the net played such an important part is because those two were the only two names really pumped up on rumor sites. Now you could argue that Foley was the only logical choice because his name is synonymous with Hell in a Cell. However I choose to note that Shane's name was second on the list. All night long on Monday the person teased as the special ref was called "sick and demented", now what would lead people to believe Shane fits this profile? Now when it comes to "sick and demented" I would have chosen Terry Funk and Stone Cold who were also on the list over Shane. I would even have chosen The Rock's name over Shane's. Shane's name was chosen because it was a wide spread rumor on the net. So when fat ole JR and Triple H go on their prepared rants about how the internet geeks need to go fuck themselves they really should realize what a tradeoff they get for taking a few negative comments.

In a related topic recently Mean Mark Calloway aka The Undertaker tried to bitchslap internet columnists in an interview with BoxingInsider.com (what wrestling has to do with boxing I'll never know), let's take a look at some of those well articulated comments now...

"BoxingInsider.com : What is your opinion of the Internet and how it has changed the wrestling business?

The Undertaker: I don't know that it really changed the business. I don't really have too many positive things to say about the Internet a lot of people are self professed experts that have never been in the ring, never booked a territory and never been responsible for their writing actions. But a lot of people can sit back and criticize what we do. I try not to pass judgments till I walked in someone’s shoes.

If it was up to the Internet and we did what they suggested there would probably be a lot whole lot less people watching. They are a very small group. I am not talking about the all of the Internet there are a lot of fan based sites that are really good and they remember that they are fans.

But these guys that think they are wrestling experts, I think they are a joke, they are people who forgot they are only fans. They take themselves way too seriously. They need to remember that we do this for their entertainment and should stop critiquing and enjoy it for what it is. "

The internet and the internet columnists themselves take quite a hit from WWE superstars and without a lot of evidence backing up the superstars rants. Now I am not going to go on a tear and defend every internet columnist since quite frankly I hate 98% of the ones out there, I consider them self-aggrandizing, arrogant fuckers who would say anything that they think will get them attention, most of the columnists are just ignored children starving for attention. Now there are some of us that have some sense of integrity, some writing skill and God forbid an actual fully functioning brain. I do this job because I like wrestling but I don't want to be a wrestler, I have no interest in wearing tights and jumping off the top rope, I like to write and this is what I like to write about. Wrestling is not the only thing I like to write about as will be evidenced in the coming months.

I started doing this because I went to a website called "Paul's WWF / WCW site" for rumors and would occasionally read a piece of pre-school banter called something like "The Bitches' Point of View". Now this fuckwad didn't inspire me as much as he enraged me, he had the balls to call himself a columnist. Now I have no ties to any writing profession so it wasn't like I was pissed at his lack of any sense of what makes a coherent sentence, not to mention the 15 million spelling errors per paragraph. What pissed me off is that he wrote as such a poor level that you could hardly call it interesting or even call it a column. It was more like reading what is written on the wall of a rest stop urinal, right above a glory hole, which I bet he would like. So I decided that I should put my money where my mouth is and try and compete, which I did. I am not going to bore you with the legend of The Robb but on October 27, 1999 I came out swinging like Babe Ruth. Now as much as I have bashed and tormented the WWE I have been giving them back what they give, I have promoted them for almost 4 years, it wasn't intentional but is inhereit when you choose to write about wrestling. I am unable to refocus myself to writing about anything in the domain of wrestling besides the WWE so they are essentially getting free promotion and like the saying goes "there is no such thing as bad press".

However the WWE and it's extremely smart wrestlers can't digest this fact. Fuck, I wish I had a million websites devoted to me, even if they were all calling me a fucking loser. You don't think that much of what I do is intended to piss you off, no? Well fuck you and fuck your mothers too. Trust me you are being worked in more ways than you will ever know. I take that part of my job very seriously and I am proud of every single piece of hate mail I get, it is a sign of success. However unlike the WWE wrestlers who claim to love being booed and hated, I am not going to sit and cry in a corner because people actually hate me. Back to my argument, Triple H is the leader when it comes to bashing the Net, he bashes us every chance he gets, in fact here is a typical Triple H interview...

"Vince is a genius, the brand extension is genius, I am THE GAME and fuck the internet".

I am sorry but this is the same guy who lauds himself for getting tremendous amounts of heat, he basically doubles over and blows himself because his so damned good at getting people to boo him. So let me get this straight, he is okay with people sitting ringside yelling at him that his fiancé is a whore and that he blows Flair but he is upset when someone writes it on the Net? I am starting to wonder if it isn't anger but jealousy that Trip is feeling, I wonder can he write, or read for that matter? Trust me in my 10 years of playing basketball being short and white has gotten me into a few verbal altercations and trust me I would take those far more seriously than some person dissing me on a computer. I would kinda be proud of myself for getting that heat if it was exactly what I was looking for or was used as a measuring stick for how much I had accomplished in the biz I chose for myself.

Now let's refocus this argument back to the redneck in question here, The Undertaker. I for one have raked this guy across the coals for my entire run as a columnist. He has fucked up his whole career and what used to be a favorite character of mine is now a sorry ass excuse of a old man trying to play cool. He says that they do this job for entertainment and what we need to stop critiquing it, what the fuck is that about? So now no one can critique something based on it's entertainment value? Movies are reviewed everyday but no one (hardly) ever tells Roger Ebert to go fuck himself. Music gets critiqued and that is acceptable but wrestling is held up above music and movies, please motherfucker! Even other television shows are critiqued, what wrestling cannot be held in the same regard as even other TV shows? Wrestling should be critiqued just like anything else. Since when are you only a fan if you have nice things to say. I am a huge Yankees fan, more so than I am a wrestling fan but they have had some God awful teams in the past to which I have made comments about them sucking, does that mean I am not a fan? The Bible According to Mean Mark would have us believe that I am being blasphemous because I choose to have opinions and express them. Aww, I know what it is Marky's Mommy used to tell him that if "you don't have anything nice to say than don't say nothing". Then she spat her chewin tobackey in a pot and slept with her brother.

Taker thinks that wrestling columnists are "a joke" well apparently he hasn't looked in the mirror or watched one of his matches (if you can call them that) lately. Fuck Taker and his sensitive bullshit. Walk a mile in my shoes, you know what you pansy bitch, walk a mile in mine, you get paid millions of dollars and have fans adoring you for essentially being a shitty actor and play-fighting. It isn't like you are curing cancer or by God making one solid contribution to the forwarding society, you are an uneducated redneck who without wrestling would most likely be in jail or collecting soda cans for the recycling money. Try having to actually go to school, learn bullshit that you will never use and then compete for a job in a crowded market. I respect the risks and the profession but let's not make it out to be noble. Being a teacher, a doctor or a cop is noble, being a wrestler is just as much about making yourself happy as it is about making others happy. I have more sympathy for the schmoe dressed up as Mickey at Disney at least you don't have to sweat your ass off pretending to be happy go-lucky while making minimum wage. I appreciate wrestlers as much as I appreciate other sportsmen and women. They do take risks to entertain us, but who demands guys to go do drugs to get ahead, I certainly would never want anyone to cycle roids to entertain me. Don't blame the fans for the dangers inherit with your business, blame the people who run it or even by God, yourselves for being that stupid to go along with it. There is free will in this world, as much as I mourn for Louis Spicolli and Brian Pillman, they made stupid decisions and they are far more remembered than a cop killed in the line of duty.

Taker brought up that if some of us columnists were in charge we wouldn't know our dicks from our ears, well you know what, I will be willing to put myself to the test, give me a chance to book a show, fuck it let me run the company. I bet I could put on some interesting matches and I will take on Mark Calloway's assumption that there will be a lot less people watching. C'mon WWE give The Robb a chance, I can't do much worse than you are. I have watched, scrutinized and critiqued every aspect of the business for years now and I know what works. The Rock works, Rico doesn't, see it isn't that hard.

"I am not talking about the all of the Internet there are a lot of fan based sites that are really good and they remember that they are fans".

Apparently people that are writing internet columns about wrestling are not fans, what the fuck are we then? I am a fucking fan and you know what I should have as much input in what I want to see as you. The fans pay your salaries, watch your shitty shows, buy your merchandise and buy tickets to your events. We are not just fans, but consumers. I would not write this column just to have something to complain about, you don't see me writing about math and that is my most hated thing in the world. I write because I am a fan asshole. Apparently to Taker only people who profess their love for motorcylcle riding assholes with a body full of pretty pictures are true fans, if you disagree with them, you are not a fan, you are trash. Well call me the Junkyard Robb then!

So to sum up this long soliloquy, what is important, some big dumb redneck's dictatorial ideals or freedom of speech? Who do you trust more, the founding fathers of this great country or the bike riding bigot? The answer is obvious, Mark Calloway is just another in a long line of puppets that Vince has his hand in. "Do what I say little puppet".

So that's done with, let's get on with some other things I can bitch about for 5 pages...

The brand extension or as I like to call it, the worst fucking mistake in WWE history, seems to be here to stay. Bad Blood marked what is to be the first in the line of brand-only PPV's. While Bad Blood was an abysmal failure both in buyrates and in quality does this mean that brand-only PPV's will fall in line in back of the XFL and Buff Bagwell as a grandiose WWE fuckup? I don't think so, if the brand extension truly has to stay (to placate Vince for enough time for him to say it was a success and then revert it back to one brand) then I think brand-only PPV's are actually good ideas. It cuts down on wrestlers bouncing back and forth between shows like a superball and lends some (laughing hysterically) credibility to the split itself. I still think that the rosters need a better balance because Smackdown is still the red-headed stepchild of the WWE.

Honestly I won't buy a RAW or Smackdown PPV until this current trend of shit subsides so I couldn't care less if all PPV's featured only RAW wrestler’s mothers. I am not about to shell out 40 beans for some bullshit like Triple H vs. Kevin Nash no matter how many bells and whistles they give the match, Hell in the Cell whoopdeedoo, it is still Trip vs. Nash, it could be held in an active volcano and it still wouldn't peak my interest. Now usually I would go on a 30 page rant about how the WWE is trying to compensate for their limp ratings and sagging storylines by drumming up fake competition but what's the point, it is like arguing the benefits of universal health care in front of a bunch of invertebrates, I am not saying that all of you are stupid but I wouldn't disagree with it if someone wrote it. I am kidding of course, you know I love all of you WWE fanatics, just wait till you see how much in my "AWE" column.

Oh that danged Steve Austin he is such a dirty rapscallion making poor innocent deep-fried Kane snap, that is just sooooo wrong (yaaaaaawwwwwn). I honestly am just sitting back and waiting for the shit to hit the fan. What is the point to this angle? Kane is a badass but he has lost his way in the same vein that the Undertaker has lost his. The Brothers Grim were once the most feared wrestlers in the WWF but when the "F" got the "F" outta there so did their personas. Undertaker once proud and evil is now pathetic, but that is hard to avoid when you are a whiny bitch, it is pretty much inevitable. Kane however has lost what made him great but could reclaim it rather easily. The WWE's first mistake was letting him talk, their second mistake was making him talk at great length. The little grumbling here and there were ok but when he started reenacting Shakespeare and clowning around like a 12 year old girl it ruined his whole gimmick. When Kane debuted he was silent, stoic and frightening. His skin was mostly covered because of what were sold to be horrible burns that are there because of his big brother, the Lost Harris Brother. Little by little like Christina Aguilera, Kane lost a lot of his clothing and the little voice box he used to speak. Suddenly the burns weren't mentioned and the origins of his scarred face weren't brought up anymore. When was the last time Taker was blamed for scarring his brother, when is the last time Kane was actually unstoppable? I agree with the WWE pushing Kane and trying to make him a badass once again but will that be at the expense of his character?

I wish this column was done before RAW two weeks ago so I could have written something about Kane's unmasking before it happened but oh well. Along with the mask goes his character, his gimmick. As the WWE stripped away his clothing it was obvious that he was not scarred. Everyone already knows that he is not scarred because everyone knows he is Isaac Yankem DDS, we have seen his face before. However the mask is his gimmick and there is a certain level of fantasy involved in wrestling. We kinda suspend reality and accept that a guy wearing a mask that we KNOW is not scarred actually has grotesque burns and we grimace when people try to remove it. This is similar to the way we believe that a beer-bellied redneck can clear the ring of 8 guys with by kicking them in the stomach and giving them a chin breaker, or that an geriatric guy with a Day-Glo tan can beat up guys one-eighth of his age. We accept these falsities, we accept this fantasy the way we accept the whole industry, if we had no imaginations we'd be those people that ask "how can you watch that, it is fake". Duh, it is fake but that's why we like it. Kane needs the mask, without it he is just a big white guy and from what we have seen there are already too many big white guys in the WWE. He is not a great wrestler, he is not great on the stick, he has a great gimmick, but if you take the mystique away he is just normal and normal don't sell past the initial shock. Kane has always been victim to a sharp spike in interest followed by a huge decline resulting in a sort of "blah, it's just Kane" atmosphere.

Kane will be, excuse the pun, red hot when he comes back from a scripted lay off and will make a huge impact but then interest in him will subside until people just get used to him begin another midcarder. This whole new big-bad-bald Kane is nothing new when it comes to handling the Big Red Machine, the approach may be different but the direction is the same. Kane will be revived as a bad ass but will ultimately fall into the big dumb character scene again. Kane goes through this resurrection whenever his latest red & green tag team is broken up. Kane is sorely mismanaged, in Kane I see gold, he is the last real link to the comic book era wrestling. He is the last of the fictitious background guys that could believably be from "parts unknown". Masks are now solely for luchadores, Kane surpassed that stereotype, he wore a mask and he was cool. He was sci-fi, he was horror, he was everything that was not trite and boring in wrestling. Kane was different, but then the WWE started to want everyone to be the same. Hell, if people love The Rock, people will really love 10 Rock's right? Suddenly every popular wrestler has to be a comedian if they are a face, and heels have to be ruthless like Triple H. So Kane suddenly regrows his damaged vocal chords (stem cells, maybe?) and now is unmasked. He no longer has that mystique of the antihero who has been fucked with since the day he was born. Kane is no longer the victim of a horrible deed at the hands of his brother, the burns are not real. The physical impetus for his sheltered lifestyle and outraged persona is absent. If he is not burned then why is he so mad? The why doesn't matter to the WWE, they are generating a buzz with Kane right now, but what happens two months from now, or even after his first big confrontation? Kane's style hasn't changed, the mask was not hampering his career, the mask made his career. Without it, he is still just Isaac Yankem DDS in a silly red costume.

Now for some shocking news, on Smackdown a couple weeks ago we found out that Vinnie Crack pimped out his 17 year old daughter to "business associates". In an emotional outburst Steph made claims that she hates her life because of what her father made her do and millions of guys wished that they were Vince's "business associates" and blah blah blah blah blah. With all the McMahon infighting that has happened in the WWE should we really be surprised or even shocked by this? What I am surprised about is that they didn't go as far as to say Vince had an incestual relationship with Steph O'Mac or even Shane for that matter. What exactly is this supposed to provoke, isn't everyone sick enough of McMahon vs. McMahon? For that matter isn't everyone sick enough of Vince ogling and eventually groping almost EVERY woman in the WWE. In fact the only women he seems not to want to nail is his own wife. Also what is up with Vince's voice when he is with women, all the sudden he turns into what sounds like a horny zombie. It is really disturbing, it ALMOST takes all the joy out of watching Sable acting like a slut. I am sick and tired of the McMahon family drama, I am sick of Vince and all his bullshit, always trying to have the spotlight. Let the wrestlers have the spotlight, that is why "wrestling is the name on the marquee".

Golly Gee Whiz boys and girls, there was another lesbian failure in the WWE. After weeks of buildup (I am not talking about in your pants) the Torrie Wilson / Sable melodrama went right where it should have, no-fucking-where. Sure it did provide for some good tent-pitching moments but overall it was all foreplay and no pay-off. When will the WWE learn that it takes more than just sex to get over. HLA went bust and so did the whole Torrie / Dawn debacle. So why would Sable & Torrie be any different? Maybe because the fantasies would be more overt because you could see Sable and Torrie au natural in the sticky pages of Playboy. Maybe, well maybe not? It could be because they are blondes and two blondes make for more compelling lesbian television than a brunette and a blonde. I doubt that too. Maybe someone was just really horny and needed to get off. I lean to the notion that every WWE diva that did Playboy pre-Torrie has left the WWE under bad circumstances. Maybe the WWE was trying to show Torrie that they are in charge and they can make her do whatever they want. Ditto with Sable, showing her that this is her place, to do whatever they want. She left in a hurry a couple years ago among a flurry of rumors that the WWE wanted her to play lezzie and she refused, now bingo she is back and thrown right into the role she once refused.

It's no secret this whole Mr. America thing never sat right with me for many reasons. The obvious is that I hate Hulk Hogan and the less apparent is that this whole angle sucks cock. Weeks and weeks of "Ooh it could be Hogan but I don't know" bullshit had run it's course very early on. Hogan can't wrestle and neither can Mr. America, that is what should be noticed. I could give a fuck less if there is a geriatric blonde with a Day-Glo tan wearing a gay outfit or some feather boa-wearing yellow and red reject acting like a superhero, they both suck. Why does anyone still like this fucker? He can't wrestle to save his life. Granted he is an American icon and a guy who paved the road that so many of our favorite superstars walk now, but that isn't the same man who wrestles now. Let me make my point crystal clear, the Hulk Hogan you revered in the WWF is dead, he died when he went to WCW. Also that Hogan that you despised in WCW as a founder of the nWo, died after the nWo died, THE FIRST TIME. It was when they brought him back as Hulk Hogan and not Hollywood Hogan in WCW when the great Terry Bollea was lost to all of us.

This new Hogan / Mr. America is a shell of his former self, an empty soulless shell. He is now an elderly man hanging on to his spotlight with all his might, meanwhile screwing younger guys who once idolized him out of their shot at the glory he has wallowed in over the past 100 years or however long Hulkamania has infested the wrestling industry. I'll admit that Hogan still does draw and he does have a following but what the hell does that matter when you are talking about the overall quality of the product in question. Now this bogus nostalgia-fest that the WWE has been (could it be over, more on that later) ensnared in has a new victim, Zach Gowan aka Tenacious Z. Gowan is probably the most remarkable young man that you can imagine, he is an inspiration but he is hooked up with the wrong guy. What does Hulk Hogan inspire? Greed, vengeance, or arrogance, how about all of the above? He has held onto his spot with a dead man's grasp, pushing him and his friends to a higher plateau while crushing all of those who turned against him. Zach Gowan just by association with Hogan is at a disadvantage, he may become a fad, just like all of those who have followed in the steps of the Huckster.

Well the WWE has really screwed the pooch with many of their wrestlers, taking guys that are great heels and making them faces, taking the comedic and making them serious, but the WWE has really loused up a guy that could be a huge success for them and that man is Scott Steiner. I'll admit I expected Scott Steiner to be a major force in the WWE based on what he had accomplished in the last year of WCW. Steiner could be a force if used correctly and that means making him a heel the likes of Triple H. As a face Steiner is boring, the guy has no mic skills what so ever and as evidenced by his run against Trip no one really cares about him yet since he has been gone for ages. As a heel Steiner could dominate even with his ring skills being as diminished as they are. A Steiner heel relies more on his willingness to show no mercy and no conscience, his whole gimmick is being as dominant as a man can be by using every trick in the book to win. I say bring back the steel pipe, bring back Midajah and bring back the real "big bad booty daddy", as gay as that sounds...

It has come to my attention that a lot of people have misconstrued my well constructed arguments as blind rage, well that would be accurate in some cases but most of the time there are very good reasons why I would up and bitchslap someone. So to further justify myself to you peons I present a little section I like to call, "RA1 : Behind the Hatred"

Hulk Hogan - "Hollywood Has-been" - For about 10 years Hulk Hogan hasn't been able to wrestle. It really is pathetic to watch someone that you used to idolize hang on to fame and embarrass himself at the same time. When I was a kid I was a Hulkamaniac but like my baby teeth I lost it, but trust me while I was infected with it I was the ultimate Hulkamaniac. I cried like a bitch when he lost to the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania and I cheered like my Yankees had won the World Series when he defeated Sgt. Slaughter at WM 12. I wanted so much to meet him, I wanted to have the memory of him as a triumphant superhero forever etched into my consciousness, I wanted to name my children Hulk Hogan even though I wasn't old enough to know how you make kids, the stork brings em, duh!!! Hulk was my hero, well more like my second favorite hero next to only Bret Hart.

Anyways after WM 12 I fell out with wrestling and laid off of the industry until the time of the nWo (not the revamps, the O.G. one neeeya). At first I was surprised as fuck to see that the All-American superhero was a bad guy but I was a lot older and had always been appreciative of the plight of the American bad guy in pop culture, I had secretly rooted for Skeletor and Cobra Commander for years. It is only after years in the closet that I can now confess I am a heel lover. At any rate, I was once again literally entranced by Hogan, I was digging the whole black & white nWo thing, I was mesmerized by WCW programming, in fact I barely watched WWF because I was enthralled with the nWo. This is coming from a guy who only had known Ric Flair and Sting from WCW when was a little kid. Anyways I really loved Hogan again but the one thing I noticed is that I really never saw him wrestle, he just talked a lot, and I couldn't wait to watch him wrestle. For some reason my memories and Tony Shiavone had led me to believe he was the greatest wrestler in the history of wrestling, and I do mean WRESTLING and not entertainment. Boy was I wrong and I did realize it, I was old enough to realize that he flat out sucked. In fact I came to the glaring conclusion that he had always been a bad wrestler, just back then everyone was bad, by today's standards of course.

I did stick by the ex-Hulkster because he was still damned entertaining as Hollywood Hulk Hogan. I reveled as the nWo went through its stages and then grew sick of it's different incarnations. Towards the death throws of WCW someone got the great idea to turn Hogan back to the yellow and red. Unfortunately he became a syrupy sugary 80's wrestler which by this time I had grown to despise. Hogan had to die, or at least go away, or preferably go away and die. That is when it happened, among all the rumors that Hogan would not take an "L" to then-champ Jeff Jarrett, Hogan finally got paid back for his years of backstage politicking. Vince Russo embarrassed and buried Hogan on live TV to the cheers and awe of fans watching the Bash at the Beach PPV. The irony was that Hogan had once screwed fans by turning heel at B.A.T.B. but now was getting his years later. To me after hearing all the rumors and hearing all the wrestlers say how much of a limiting influence he was in the back I was overjoyed to see him go. What made it sweeter was that he was always getting this huge push even though he could barely move, he wasn't worthy of that push and should have been a novelty in the midcard and not a main eventer.

Unfortunately like Herpes, Hulkamania just won't die and reared it's ugly head once again in the WWE and the Hulkster ejaculated his virus back into the lame ass WWE fans. Hogan was last seen posing as some kind of patriotic superhero using the virtue of America as a gimmick. Yeah, it is a lame ass gimmick and at least he wasn't up for the title but couldn't his place go to some up-and-coming young star who can't get a break because Hulk Hogan won't leave the spotlight? The latest rumors seem to point at a new Hogan-less era in the WWE, on the “Bubba the Love Sponge Radio Show” Hulk stated that he done in WWE and that the creative powers-that-be asking him to put Mr. America on hiatus. I try not to buy into rumors because they are about as realistic as a Jim Ross, Harvard grad, but I am really excited at the prospect of a Hogan-free WWE. I'd like to add that I would love to personally bitch slap anyone that was shocked seeing Mr. America revealed as Hogan on Smackdown weeks ago.

Shawn Michaels the Heartbreak Kid - "Man of God, Man of Convenience" - Unlike the Huckster I have always hated Shawn Michaels, well maybe not. As a Rocker I really didn't know who he was, I thought they were a cool tag team but really didn't care about him or Jannety. When he went solo that is when my loathsome relationship with the Heartbreak Kid began. For a guy that I really was supposed to despise he did his job, I fell for the gimmick and got worked. The WWF said "hate this arrogant fuck" and I sure did, I hated him so much that OOOOOH I wanted to kick his ass. However then he became a good guy but I couldn't drop the years of resentment I had for him, I still hated him, in fact I couldn't understand the whole attitude shift in the WWF. Why were people rooting for this arrogant fuck, he really hadn't changed personalities, all the sudden arrogance was good, being a pretty boy was cool too. Huh? What the fuck did I miss? My little kid mind couldn't understand this new change.

Why were people rooting for HBK? More important why the fuck were people booing Bret Hart. I loved Bret Hart, he was the man, I wanted those fucking silver sunglasses so bad. Now all the sudden people were booing him, why? Sure he became darker and was sort of a heel at this point but it was all Stone Cold and HBK's fault, they pushed him to it, he did nothing to them and they picked on him. Bret was the victim here dammit, why can't anyone see that? I couldn't understand it but it was playing havoc with my sense of morality because no longer was the good guy the "good guy". I was supposed to root for the bad guy and I couldn't, not at least when it came to Shawn fuckin' Michaels.

Then came the biggest slap in the face ever to Bret and to every child that was a Hit-maniac. In Montreal in what we all heard was Bret's last match in the WWF he was totally screwed over by HBK and Vince, he didn‘t even get any lube. I didn't get it, I was old enough to understand that there were angles and things like that, but if that was his last match why would they do that to him? Why would he be involved in a new angle with Vince? I quickly understood that this was no angle, watching Bret spit at Vince and then draw WCW in the air with his fingers I understood, they had screwed Bret. That arrogant, Playgirl posing pussy had done the unthinkable, he screwed my most favorite wrestler.

HBK seemingly got his own when he got hurt at the hands of Stone Cold, however like any good piece of trash he was due for a return. The world without HBK was a good one, despite his return once or twice it was good to see that he was gone for good. Oh shit I had spoken too soon, this sumbitch came back and all the sudden he is a good guy again, whuuuuuuuut? Now he isn't only a good guy, but he is a Born-Again? Now he is a God-fearing Christian with morals and a very defined sense of right and wrong, what the fuck happened to the old HBK? It didn't matter to me, he could change his religion, his way of thinking but he was still the old arrogant fucker to me, that smokescreen couldn't throw me off, he is still Shawn Michaels right, he still wears those faggy heart tights, he is still the guy who fucked Bret right? Good, I still hate that motherfucker. At least now I know I am supposed to like him because of his "faith" bullshit but that just pisses me off even more, I will explain more in my "Conversion" segment.

Undertaker - "Rousing Rebel" - Do I really need to refresh this argument, besides his bashing of the Internet which I covered earlier there are some other things that I hate about this biatch. First off I remember this guy as Mean Mark Calloway in the WCW. When I first saw him as The Undertaker I knew who he really was but I loved the gimmick, even though he beat Jake "The Snake" who was amongst my faves at the time. Taker went through some crazy phases in his run but he was usually cool. I loved the whole long purple socks thing by the way. Then he became kinda lame in the late 90's, he started wearing some long black bathrobe and speaking at length about some shit that sounded like dialogue from a 70's B movie. He was sacrificing people on a anchor / cross thing and was hanging with Fat Albert and a smaller, fatter version of himself. I was perplexed at how someone once so threatening became so funny. He was still the Undertaker though so it was ok. Then he disappeared for awhile and you know what they say about absence making the heart grow fonder, well it is true. I was looking forward to his return but what happened next was weird.

I heard that he was coming back at Judgment Day and watched that whole damned PPV expecting him to come back but he didn't. There was some guy that they called The Undertaker but it wasn't him. It was this big ugly redneck wearing biker clothes. Where did Taker go? He hasn't come back since, there is just some Harris brother using his identity. What a disappointment, what a shame, add that to his comments on us columnists, what an asshole.

Jim Ross - "Blowhard Asshole" - Ooooh Weeeee, if you don't know why I hate this guy read every column from my first to this one. I think Good Ole JR is the target of my ire more than any one else involved in wrestling. If I had an eraser that would be able to rid the world of 3 people they would be Saddam, Osama and JR or maybe Vinnie Crack. I really hate him, I hate his voice, I hate his opinions on and off the air and I hate him, because of him I hate Oklahomo. This schmuck is the inventor of bashing the internet, and he was doing it in his "Ross Report" which was on the internet. So this bitch is using the internet to spread the Gospel of the WWE but at the same time bashing it. Sounds hypocritical, he isn't just bashing the columnists on the net but bashing the net itself for ruining the secrecy in the world of wrestling. So as an intellectual, he is an asshole.

As an announcer he is clueless, he can barely get a complete sentence out of those BBQ filled cheeks and when he does it is more like something out of the Beverly Hillbillies. In the pantheon of announcers he ranks right down there with Mark Madden and Larry Zybyz eehhh Nabisco. Announcing sports is an art form, Phil Rizzuto, Curt Goudy, John Madden, Pat Summerall, Harry Carey in the legit sports world are legends. In the world of wrestling there are the legends but I don't know how Fat Oaf JR got his name up there, blowjobs anyone? This guy spends more time extolling the virtues of Stone Cold then actually announcing, he probably spends more time fantasizing about Austin's ass then watching matches to realize fans would rather hear about the action in the match then the college football background of the participants. His catchphrases are pathetic and overused and just about as creative and timely as making New Kids on the Block jokes. Fuck Jim Ross, fuck Oklahoma and fuck Jerry Lawler for selling out and selling himself as JR's friend.

As for JR's backstage role as the Talent-man all I can say about that is his job must be akin to tossing darts at a board with names on it because for every success in the WWE's signing process there are at least 5 failures. For every Rock there are a lot of Nathan Jones', Dr. Death Steve Williams' and Buff Bagwells. Well maybe it isn't all JR's fault but hey he is a big target and he sure does like to open his fucking mouth about how great the WWE is. I am not naive enough to know that you have to promote your own product but while WCW was kicking the WWE's ass all you heard out of JR was that WCW sucked nuts and WWE ruled. Now this fat bitch won't even admit that their product is stagnating, he just turns it around on us internet folk, like we are the ones in the booking meetings saying "Triple H versus Kevin Nash is a great idea". Take some fuckin' responsibility bitch. No matter how much shit we all talk about how bad something was, they keyword is “was”, if you wouldn’t subject us to something horrible we wouldn’t be writing about how bad it “was”. Duh!

Steve Austin - "Spousal Abuse 3:16" - This is the man described by Linda McMahon as a man "that knows right from wrong". I am not going to lie and say I ever liked Austin, in fact quite the opposite, I always hated his character. The beer binges, shitty wrestling, finger flipping and everything bored the shit out of me. It was supposed to be revolutionary and all that but it just seemed too country music to me. I truly never liked this guy and I can't say that I hated him because of it. Certain things bugged me about him, one was that everyone went Austin-crazy because he flicked people off, to me that was stupid, he was a horrendous wrestler and people loved him. Isn't it wrestling, what happened to the actual sport, it was all the sudden about the interviews and the attitude. The entertainment aspect is part of the whole, it shouldn’t be the whole of a wrestler’s career and Austin really hadn’t been able to hold his own in-ring since ECW. In any case I didn't like him but I didn't hate him, okay maybe I did a bit, but just a little bit. A second pet peeve I had was that he seemed to do a lot of turning down proposed feuds, if there is one thing I dislike it is backstage politics. I hate when a guy thinks he is bigger than the biz. Ok feuding with Billy Gunn may not be good but what was wrong with Jeff Jarrett? Jarrett may not have been a huge commodity in the WWF because he was never given a fair chance, in WCW he proved himself to be a main eventer.

I still didn't hate him, I just disliked him intensely. That was until recently, he beat his wife up and people were still on his side, in fact people were bashing the victim. There were internet columnists and fans that were blaming Debra for Austin leaving the WWE. She got beat up and people were holding up signs that were bashing a battered wife. Wrestling fans are really sick fucks. Then Linda makes her comment about Austin being a man of virtue and that sent me over the edge, Austin has no virtue, from the time we are kids boys learn never to lay hands on a girl, in that way of course. Austin in my eyes is a bitch, a wife beater who should be in jail. Hey Stevie didn't anyone tell you that you aren't supposed to beat up women? As for the give a guy a second chance thinking, well maybe that was a one-time thing but that doesn't mean that he should be praised or lauded as some hero of conscience. I am not the one to forgive or absolve Austin of his crime and I am not one to put his head on a chopping block but don't expect me to play lemming and follow the pied-pipers of the WWE into the belief that Austin is a noble warrior.

Matt Hardy - "UHHH Nah Nah Nah Nah" - Get on the second rope and say "UHHH, UHHH NAH NAH NAH NAH". Matt has never done or said anything really stupid so I don't dislike him for the reasons I hate the other fucks on this list. I just really hate him because of his in-ring work. He is truly a boring wrestler and I just am sick and tired of his daring second rope leg drop, it is just lame. Plus he got Lita and that just ain't right. That's it, see it doesn't take much to get me upset. I should really seek help.

P.S. This whole "Mattitude" thing is really really gay.

Vince McMahon - "Dick-tator" - Ahh now we have come to the crowned jewel of our little list here, this here man is the pinnacle of prickdom, the tops of the cocks, the sultan of scum and the dictator of dicks. Vincent Kennedy McMahon or Lord Almighty as he likes to be called is both the creator and cancer of modern day wrestling. There is no doubt in anyone's mind that not even a fourth of us current wrestling fans would even know what wrestling is if Vince hadn't created the WWF. I will stipulate that Vince was the Big Bang for the wrestling universe, his ideas and his brash way of breaking tradition was the singlemost important moment in wrestling history. Wrestling became not only mainstream but far more entertaining. The WWF was a breath of fresh air and brought us the heroes of the 80's that many 20-somethings are still enamored with. After the goody-two-shoes wrestling days had passed Vince had a hand in changing the direction of the syrupy WWF and starting the "Attitude" revolution. While I give him all the credit for creating the WWF, I think the overall success of the brand has more to do with the collaborators then just Vince as many speculate. Vince needed good writers, Ed Ferrara and Vince Russo were the geniuses behind the "Attitude" shift and the wrestlers were the reasons people would actually watch.

Giving Vince McMahon all the credit for the WWF's success is fuckin' retarded. It is simpatico to saying that Jerry Krause (Chicago Bulls former GM) was the reason the Bulls won 6 championships. Everyone knows it was all Michael Jordan, Krause can guide but can't do. Unfortunately McMahon also can't do but tries to constantly, he tries to book himself as a legit wrestler. While the wrestlers talk shit about hating the guys who haven't paid their dues they kiss Vince's ass, Vince the wrestler hasn't paid his dues. Vince IS a genius when it comes to business but takes and is given way too much credit for killing off the competition and making the WWE the best brand now. WCW had much more to do with it's demise than the WWE did, bad investments, shaky management and so on and so forth did them in much more than a WWE dominance since the WCW had their year-long run of kicking the WWF's ass in the ratings. ECW like WCW was done in by their own hand, so the WWE really didn't vanquish anyone, they just had enough stamina and money to be the last one standing. Being left alone has done them no good and they were arguably better off having WCW or ECW around to provide the Monday Night wars and the competition which the industry thrives on.

Now because Vince is touted as the God of Wrestling is not why I hate this guy, I guess you can call those last two paragraphs a disclaimer. I was trying to say I agree he is a big bad ass but he is about as good of a person as a trash can is a comfortable home. In the spotlight Vince has chosen to show the evil side of his persona and with the the skeletons have come bounding out of his closet. Ranging from doing and distributing steroids to cheating on his wife, Vince has proven to be as faulted a person as you could imagine. Recently on the HBO show "Real Sports with Bryant Gumble" Vince was asked about his role in the deaths of wrestlers, he denied he had any and claimed that they have done all they could have to help those with problems. I had no problem with that answer even though I think when you have guys who are in obvious trouble as many have said Brian Pillman was in there is no excuse. The problem I had with the interview is Vince seemed to step into "I am Vince McMahon goddamit!!!" territory and slapped a paper out of Arman Keteyan (the interviewers) hand because he didn't like the line of questioning. Vince should know how to handle himself by now, he is under constant scrutiny and seems to always make an ass out of himself when given the chance to be a class-act and just say "No comment" or walk out, but Vince seems to always revert to the grunt and scowl approach and turn into the WWE personality and not the business man.

Watching the HBO special and hearing Rowdy Roddy Piper make comments that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention led me to believe that wrestling needs changes. Piper said that he not only hates himself when he wrestles but shed light on many of the dark secrets of the business. The drug culture in the wrestling industry is prevalent and drug abuse is a major problem amongst the stars past and present. The main thrust of the story was that the wrestling business eats away at its' participants until a great number of them perish or become drug fiends. Vince McMahon said that he tried to get those in need of help to rehab but all to often that has not been enough as many ex and current wrestlers are in such sorry health that many fall to drug-related health issues. In my mind rehab isn't going to help much if someone doesn't want to help themselves and in some cases where guys are told to clean up or get out, that is going to just do more damage than good.

What wrestling needs is a union, don't laugh, the WWE and all of wrestling needs a voice, needs a governing body to regulate the business. A union would make sense, wrestlers would have representation that would act in their best interest and not that of their employers. A union could set up programs to help those with drug problems and other psychological issues. It would cut down on questionable firings and make it easier to negotiate contracts. Inherit with unions are problems such as lockouts but the upside would far outweigh the problems created by the formation of a union. I do believe a third party with no interests but those of their members would help and even if it wasn't a totally revolutionary step anything is better than the lackluster conditions which exist now.

In a related story Rowdy Roddy Piper was let go by the WWE this week as a reaction to his statements on his career and life on "Real Sports". Hot Rod said he hates the man he becomes when he is in the ring as well as shed some light on the excessive use of drugs in the wrestling profession, even his own. The interview by Roddy was intense and very hard to watch as it looked as if he was in an enormous amount of emotional pain but it was good to see a guy just let loose and tell the truth. There was no gimmick, and as much as Vince was trying to come off as his megalomaniac character, while Roddy played it straight and spoke as a man, as Roderick Toombs, not as the wrestling superstar. The WWE shot themselves in the foot by firing Piper after this interview in my opinion. First off was Vince's stupid fucking approach to the interview and then firing a guy who came off a bit scary but ultimately sympathetic. Piper didn't out and out blame Vince and the WWE for the deaths of wrestlers but did express that no one truly cares about them until they are dead. I have been a heavy critic of Piper, I don't really understand the man, he reeled of a barrage of hatred for Vince Russo and Vince McMahon in NWA-TNA but meanwhile was working for Russo and then came back to the WWE. It is hypocritical but I guess he either needs the money or doesn't know what else to do with his life. When I was watching the interview I couldn't help but think that Piper seems like he is going to do something really crazy one day, he is definitely not okay, this man needs help, he didn't need to be fired. I am not saying this as a fan of Piper, I am not, I am saying this as a man who watched another man speak his heart on TV.

Well now onto a new face in the WWE, Gail Kim made her debut in a women's battle royale where she was victorious and won the Woman's Championship in her first ever match. In her second match Kim and Val Venis defeated the team of Victoria and Steven Richards. Gail Kim has impressed me with her in-ring skills but I could do without the whole wannabe-Matrix gimmick. I don't quite see the whole female Rey Mysterio thing but she is up there with the tops of the Women's division. The quality of the women's ranks is much better than it once was. Gone are the days of women just slapping each other silly. There are still bad women's matches and some of the wrestling women are 75% valet and 25% wrestler such as Stacy and Torrie but women like Trish, Gail, Lita and Victoria make the women’s division worthwhile and credible. I still think there should be a clear line between women wrestlers and valets. There is nothing wrong with being just a valet, Miss Elizabeth is an icon in this business and she was only involved in a couple physical confrontations. Confine the valets to just being in catfights, like Dawn Marie and Francine in ECW, mmmmmmmmmm catfights ahhhhhhhh(drool).

As soon as I heard that the Intercontinental Title would be returning it wasn't too hard to guess which title would be coming back next, well here it is on Smackdown the US Title made it's triumphant return. Chris Benoit, Billy Gunn, Matt Hardy and Eddy Guerrero are now the semi-finalists for the prestigious belt. The US Title has passed through the hands of some of the greatest talent in WCW including Bret Hart, Sting, Goldberg, DDP, Konnan (ha fucking ha) and many more. Out of the four current competitors my pick and the only one that I really see deserving the title is Chris Benoit. Matt and Billy are boring, both suffer from the same disease. The both were exposed as crappy wrestlers after their respective tag teams were broken up. Eddy Guerrero is capable and is a great competitor but his involvement in very shitty WWE gimmicks including the Los Guerrero's "If you are cheatin'" bullshit still sits wrong with me. Chris Benoit is a great wrestler and is the embodiment of WCW, he still hasn't gotten a fair shake. Benoit is capable to compete for the World Title but since he lacks a persona he will never be up to the task. The US title is perfect for Benoit, he will be King of the Midcarders and hopefully will beat the shit out of everyone that tries to take what is his. I'd like to see Benoit win the strap and hold onto it for a real long time, not like 3 weeks, I am talking more like 6 months to a year. The WWE needs a long reigning champ besides Triple H.

It is looking bad for Bill Goldberg and his WWE run, he has an arm infection which will keep him out of action for weeks. Ever since the phenom has come to the WWE he has been surrounded by bullshit controversy. Everyone blows him up to be the next coming of Jesus and then wonder why he has an ego. The McMahon clan expected him to pull their ratings out of the toilet with a single spear, but then complain about his attitude. 2 weeks into his run the robotic bitch, Linda McMahon is talking shit saying that Goldberg is disappointing and they haven't gotten a fair return on their investment. That isn't his fault, that is the writers fault who have so far come up with stupid shit for Da Man. Everyone loves to hate on Goldberg, it is the number one trend in the WWE and for their fickle fans. These fucks scream at the top of their lungs "Goldberg, Goldberg" and I am willing to guarantee that they are they same stupid fucks who go and write columns saying that he isn't that impressive and is a waste. Who else can jackhammer the Big Show? Huh, I am not hearing you, no-fucking-body!!! Leave Goldberg alone, let him kick ass and if you really need to blame someone, blame the WWE creative team for mismanaging him.

The Ultimo Dragon debuted a couple weeks back on Smackdown to rave reviews. His debut match in Madison Square Garden pitted him against Shannon Moore, while Shannon is a great competitor the match was pretty much all-Dragon. Many people don't remember or even know who the hell Ultimo Dragon is, but this guy was one hell of a wrestler back with WCW a couple years ago. Ultimo looked pretty good, a little rusty but I was impressed with his skill even though it was said a couple years ago that he might have been contemplating retirement due to some serious injuries. Dragon defeated Moore with an amazing finisher that had my mouth agape, I think Ulitmo Dragon could be a major force in a budding cruiserweight division if the division and Dragon himself are managed correctly.

Speaking of cruiserweights, Billy Kidman has returned to WWE TV, this guy was my favorite cruiserweight in the WCW, and ranks pretty high up there on my list of all-time wrestlers. I have always liked his style and his feud with Hulk Hogan in the WCW was amazing as he held his own on the mic and the ring. The best thing about Kidman was the fact that he was the constant underdog and was a humble guy. This new Kidman seems to be going in a different direction but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Kidman and Mysterio won a fatal fourway match on Smackdown to earn a shot at the tag champs Haas and Benjamin at Vengeance. Hopefully what looks like a heel turn by Kidman is avoided and the old cool Kidman returns.

Ahhhh Stone Cold gots himself a brand spankin new t-shirt that reads "F*CK FEAR" on the front with a skull replacing the "U" and on the back the ever-so-charming "DRINK BEER" adorning the back. Glad to see a new shirt that will ultimately be worn in two very different places, high schools and trailer parks. I have a t-shirt for the WWE to print, on the front it says "SUCK MY D*CK" with a penis replacing the "I" and on the back it will read "EAT MY BALLS". Just about as classy and I think it has an important message.

Crash Holly's WWE career bit the dust last week as he was released from his contract. Most of us will remember Crash for his wonderful 24/7 title defense in a ball pit versus the Headbangers in a Jersey amusement park. In fact I think that is all I remember about him. Poor Crash never got a chance to shine, oh well at least he doesn't have to suffer as a Mattittude fanatic anymore.

It seems that the WWE has now ditched it's fascination with nostalgia. It was Vince's assertion that bringing back old favorites would turn around the ratings right away. It was rather apparent that this was a fad as soon as Ric Flair got a bigger part of RAW as Triple H's mentor, Hulk Hogan was thrust back into the spotlight as the dreadful Mr. America, Roddy Piper was introduced as the mouthpiece for Sean O'Haire and L.O.D. made a brief and forgetful appearance on RAW. This whole "golden oldies" bullshit has run it's course, thank God. As much as I think Flair is a positive, he should not ever be allowed to wrestle or be without a shirt for that matter. Piper could be an asset if relegated to managerial services. Hogan and L.O.D. have no use whatsoever, no insult to L.O.D. for grouping them with Hulk. I wonder what the next fad will be, maybe they will resurrect all the gay-type gimmicks ever, how bout bringing in Lenny and Lodi, reuniting Billy and Chuck, bringing back Goldust and letting Vince have more mic time.

Ladies and Gentleman I’d like to take this time to introduce you to the God Squad, what follows is a brief 4 man roster of wrestlers who have turned their hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ and the wonders that their lives have become and the effect they have had on others. What also follows may be misconstrued as a bash on religion itself, I am not a religious man but I am fairly knowledgeable on the subject and of the temperaments of the religious. I by no means want to insult anyone, well maybe just the four guys below. I fuckin’ hate disclaimers, anyways enjoy...

"Heartbreak Kid" Shawn Michaels - Ever wonder why inmates convert? I am assuming that it is because either they realize they are pieces of shit and need redemption or it makes them look sweeter to the parole boards. Well I wonder which reason HBK had for his conversion, I for one don't buy the conversion for all his "have faith" speeches and bullshit. I am not a fan of being preached to, but I really hate it from someone who has about the most tarnished rep in the wrestling industry. To this day he is still synonymous with backstage politicking and bitching and whining. He went public with WWE.com about how disappointed he was about his match with Ric Flair being too short at Bad Blood. Who really cares about HBK, God I guess but that should be about it.

What really pisses me off is that whole "Thou shalt not lie" thing. HBK seems to skip over that religious stuff and go to the self-serving parts of his conversion. "Look how holy I am, you can't say anything bad about me, I've got God on my side". Well you know what, I don't care, this motherfucker is full of shit. For a guy who is supposed to have embraced the Lord and his teachings he sure does distort the truth an awful lot when it benefits his cause. For years he has said that he didn't know what was going to go down with Bret Hart in Montreal (I know what you are thinking, it always comes back to Bret, well fuck you...joking), but now he admits he did know exactly what was happening. "I had a job to do and I did it", that is a direct quote from RAW from HBK. He went on to say "Nobody cares about what happened back in November, 1997", well how about Bret and all of his fans who never had a real opportunity to see him leave on his own terms. Shawn also had this great nugget of advice for all of us fans "It's time for all of you to move on with your lives", well wow, how about that, shit I am offended by all this but guess what I have moved on. I only wake up screaming "screwjob" 3 times a week now. I agree with HBK's other assertion "...there is plenty to dislike about Shawn Michaels", well that my friend is true.

I'd like to end this discussion of HBK by reprinting something that appeared on the mainpage of http://www.brethart.com, Bret Hart's official webpage...

"Regarding Shawn Michaels' comments on the July 7th Raw from Montreal where he stated that he apologized to Bret Hart, brethart.com (Bret's official web site) would like to clarify that Bret Hart has never received any apology whatsoever from Shawn Michaels. For a man who claims to have found God to outright lie to millions of people is disappointing to say the least. Then again, it really isn't surprising when you consider that this is the same Shawn Michaels who swore to God, on video tape, right after the Survivor Series '97 screw job, that he wasn't in on it ...only to admit, years later that he was in on it all along. If anyone is aware of any apology that Shawn ever made to Bret that was not part of an angle please send us a copy. (To those e-mailing us saying that Shawn apologized to Bret on Confidential, Byte This and Off The Record - actually, no he did not. To say he is sorry that it had to come to that, or that he was a part of that, or sorry that it all had to happen is not an apology to Bret. In fact, on Confidential Shawn said he is NOT sorry and would do it again. Bret never asked Shawn or an apology anyway. And .... Bret or brethart.com did not bring any of this up and we wish they hadn't either. In fact we're sorry they can't seem to get over it.)”

Also, for further reading enjoyment, please click over here to read exactly what Bret Hart had to say in his latest column in the Calgary Sun Times.

Sting - Apparently God told Steve Borden thou shalt not share. Sting is an icon in this business but he is also an asshole. He had an opportunity to give a younger guy the biggest push of his life but refused to do so, not only before their scheduled match, but during it. At a PPV match with Vampiro, Sting refused to take many of Vampiro's moves just to show the youngster up, that no one would tell Sting what to do. Vampiro was perplexed and later stated that he didn't know what was going on and why Sting would do this because he was always nice to him. Apparently Sting is about as two-faced as a guy wearing facepaint can be. Sting went on to actually job to Vampiro but the angle lost it's momentum and Vampiro was eventually relegated to the hardcore division. He was later injured badly at the hands of Mike Awesome and has recently surfaced in MLW and other indies minus the dreadlocks and tattoos. Sting meanwhile is in prolonged negotiations with the WWE and apparently is holding out for less dates and more money than the WWE is willing to offer. I guess goodwill and generosity are not on the Christian path in Sting's mind.

Jake Roberts - Is it any coincidence that the Devil took the form of a snake to lead Adam & Eve out of the Garden of Eden? Jake The Snake was an amazing performer during the 80's but after a considerable absence from the WWF he returned and drew the ire of wrestling fans and wrestlers by becoming a devout Christian and kinda pushing his newfound faith on everyone. Stone Cold took particular offense at this and before a match with The Snake coined the much over-used phrase "Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass". Apparently faith was not as appreciated in the early 90's as much as it is appreciated now (HBK). Well Jake has seemingly parted ways with his Christian following and was last seen widely in the motion picture "Beyond the Mat". Highlights of his appearance were candid talks about his sex life (fucked up), crack habit (fucked up) and relationship with his family (really fucked up). Jake is unfortunately still on drugs and seemingly headed to a very bad place, and I am not talking about Hell.

Ted Dibease - Money is the root of all evil the saying goes. As hard as it is to believe that the Million Dollar Man is now a born again, it is harder to believe when you watch old tapes of WWF TV. I find no fault or really stupid comments since he has converted to rag on, I just find it funny that it always seems to be the biggest heels to make a new turn to a life of Christianity.

I was watching VH1's I love the 80's and they had a segment on "Then and Now" and "Then" in 1985 was Hulk Hogan and "Now" was The Rock. At the time it was rather humorous because the subject of "Then", Hulk Hogan was still active in the WWE and the "Now" was out and about being a movie star.

Spike TV what TNN was supposed to be renamed to now may not recieve that name because of all people, Spike Lee. Apparently the Napoleonic director objected to the network changing its name because it was his name, he is also suing Buffy the Vampire Slayer writer Joss Whedon for naming his blonde haired vampire Spike, director Spike Jonze and my neighbor's dog. Recently Viacom, Spike TV's parent company was able to settle the suit with the diminutive jackass for an undetermined amount of dough-ray-me. In a equally stupid coincidence Showtime which is also a Viacom product will air new show called "Sucker Free City" which will be produced by you guessed it, Spike Lee. I wonder if this whole Spike TV showdown was some way to get Spike, whose real name isn't even Spike it is Shelton Jackson Lee, a cushy deal with Showtime and a new lease of his fluttering career. Before anyone jumps the gun and calls me a racist let me first say that I like "Mo' Better Blues" but besides that I think his films are more like "Ooooh look at me I'm Spike Lee, I am the only one on the plant named Spike". What kind of egotistical bullshit are you on when you sue a television station over their name because it is the same as your pen-name? I really hope that someone names a company with my name in it, I'm gonna sue dammit, maybe I can get a TV deal too. Blahhh that whole thing is pathetic, Spike TV is supposed to be the first network for men, like Spike Lee is the ultimate symbol of men. Spike is a name that should be reserved for drag queens and dogs.

Streaking seems to be en vogue now, after those darned sickening Nike commercials of the naked guy running on the soccer field many streakers have begun appearing at different sporting events. At the US Open Golf Tourney a pornstar named Brittney Skye streaked and had an advertisement for Golden Palace written in grease paint on her back. Golden Palace (an online booking company) also pays boxers to enter the ring with their advertisement on their backs. The staff here at Raw Attitude like to be part of the most recent trends so we have contacted certain wrestlers to advertise our site. We are hoping that Rikishi will be wearing our name on his ass cheeks soon.

On RAW Stone Cold addressed Kane by telling him, "I don't need you killing my superstars backstage, I need you killing them in the ring", I'd be willing to bet Vinnie Crack used that same line once.

Quote of the year so far : "I am really honored to be standing in this ring with such great superstars...and Al Snow". Mick Foley almost made me piss my pants with that one because it was so unexpected, Snow's reaction was equally as priceless as he gave him the ultimate sort of approving-yet-kinda-insulted smirk. The whole tribute was very well done, I even liked that Vince came out and thanked Foley. I love Mick Foley man, that guy is the best. I wish he wouldn't have gotten beat up later on that night because I know this is going to lead to Foley returning again but hey every time he comes back I secretly hope that is the last time, but I am still glad to see him again.

Well it is time to take this massive column to the home stretch, and because this is so much more than just some average wrestling column it is time for some non-wrestling stuff to take center stage.

In some really stupid fucking entertainment news Universal Studios claims they were aware bootleg copies of "HULK" were being traded on the internet "within minutes" of its posting and with the assistance of the FBI immediately began an aggressive search for the culprit, who was caught shortly thereafter. That is good news to hear, meanwhile scared parents still have to wait 24 hours before filing a missing person's report when a fucking child is missing. At least everyone's priorities are in order, movies are more important than people.

More news on file sharing, the RIAA or Recording Industry Assholes of America have promised to bring lawsuits against those downloading music on the internet. What kind of shit is this? These poor millionaires must really need a new Ferrari if they are going to sue the public for downloading their music. What ever happened to the art of music, when did it just become a business? All these artists that go around saying that they just do what they do to share with the public they are full of shit if they don't step up and say this is wrong.

I saw "Pirates of the Caribbean" this week and was really impressed. When I first saw the trailer for this movie I wasn't too anxious to watch it but as I saw more and more of it as the release date approached I got into the mood to watch it. Johnny Depp is fucking great as Captain Jack Sparrow, Orlando Bloom is capable as Will Turner and Kiera Knightley is gorgeous and a talented actress. Out of a possible 5 points I give this one a 4. I was dying to see "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" because Sean Connery in my opinion can still kick ass even if he is geriatric and he has the single best accent in the history of the human race, second is "The Transporter" and "Snatch" star Jason Staham. I really really want a cool accent. It was pretty darn good but not as good as I expected. Finally, I really want to see "28 Days Later" but convincing my friends to go seemed too hard since when they saw the trailer thay all kind of said "that looks fucking stupid" and I was the lone one saying "I'll watch that", but now they have mellowed after hearing that it is really pretty fucking scary. That part in the trailer where the zombie is glaring through the window with his muddy face and orange eyes strikes me as hilarious because he looks like his is sucking on a lemon.

There is a rumor floating around that there is going to be a live-action (not animated) version of the "Transformers" in development as a motion picture. Now I am a devoted TF fan, you can ask anyone that knows me that I am a huge nerd when it comes to Prime, Megatron and the bunch. I have a "Transformers : The Movie" poster and a "Transformers" comic series poster hanging in my room in addition to some toys laying around and I have the DVD sets. As much as I love the series, comics, toys and everything I don't want to see a live-action movie. It can only be really bad, there has only been one theater release for the Transformers and it was fucking fabulous, let's not kill that with some shitty CGI generated robots stomping around, anyone remember "Rocky and Bullwinkle"? Cartoons don't make good live action movies, ok "Roger Rabbit" is an exception.

Well that is all for this extra-long edition of Robb is WAR, please click here to go to the second installment for this week entitled Robb is WAR : Awe. It is sort of a column dedicated to the fans of wrestling, I think you may very well find it very interesting.

"That's all for the shock, here come the awe. You'll be shocked and it'll drop your jaw. I ain't taking not shit, dodgin' no shots, I won't run for cover or call the cops. Take a shot at me if you dare, you'll be the one ending up in intensive care. So fuck you all if you doubt me, I'm the best columnist you will all see".