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SHOOTIN' 12/17
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SHOOTIN'
Loaded like a freight train and higher than a airplane, it's return of the Innovator of Violence, no friends, I AM NOT BEOWOLF, but I am clown prince of the Void....why so serious..
Doc Holliday
If it please the masses, instead of a column form rant, I intend to simply use my ADD and spout off shit that sums up who I feel in a few sentences. Agree or disagree, it matters not. The purpose here is for The Man In Black to feel better. To relax. To take a deep breath and let all my stress flow out like poison for your eyes.
**The following statements are those of Doc Holliday. While they are TRUE, they do not reflect the views of anyone employed by The Void, but they damn well should**
I like Vampires. I like Vampire movies. Hell, I liked Van Helsing! People that act like Vampires however, are NOT cool. They are tragic and sad.
I think that the majority of people that hate George Bush only do so because they think they are supposed to.
I HATE Gwen Stefani and when will she just die in a fire? Album or not in any particular year, she seems to win SOME award from SOME academy.
Halo is JUST a video game. So is Mario Galaxy. Instead of sittin in line for 7 hours to buy a Wii, why not just GO bowling?!
I love the Matrix trilogy. I don’t understand 80% of it, but I don’t care either.
I think Nicholson, Deniro, and Pacino are 3 of the greatest actors in Hollywood history, but I’ll be damned if the 3 combined made 5 good movies in 7 years.
I despise reality TV. It’s pretty much the antithesis of entertainment to me and it’s been the equivalent of Gabriel’s trumpet to network television since it’s inception.
I love Angelina Jolie, but I hate almost every movie she’s been in. I also think she needs to start either selecting better roles or at least better looking kids.
I hate when people bash Metallica. I hate it even more when the criticism comes from guys that were born AFTER they made their best music (post Black Album) was already created. You weren’t there to experience the music in the context of the time. Fuck you.
I think the X-Men are the MOST overrated comic book franchise of all time.
Just because a musician/actor/celebrity is dead does NOT make their work any more special. Notorious B.I.G was a rapper. How much "talent" did the guy really have? It looked like his best was "breathing" because let's face it, he'd be dead by now anyway.
I love the Golden Girls. That shit is just plain funny. I promise you will not grow a vagina just by watching it and the humor is undeniable.
I don’t miss That 70’s Show at all. This idea that the show was a culutural phenomenon is ridiculous.
Roger Clemens apparently bought steroids. Wow. I never would have suspected. Next time, can we spend 19 million less on some bullshit ass report that only tells me what I already know? Lenny Dykstra? Barry Bonds? The HELL you say!
I think that low cut jeans that expose thong straps are smokin’ hot and a trend that should never ever go away completely.
I think MTV should just change its false advertising name already. I haven’t watched more than 4 minutes in a row of it since 1994
Dear John Madden....we get it. You love Brett Farve. here's an idea...
Anne Rice sucks
I think the “women” of Anime are disturbing to look at. Big chested doe-eyed females with purple hair and cat’s tails are just creepy. What’s up with that?
Not everyone in New Jersey is happy to see Bruce Springsteen touring again. Also, Tommy TuTone called Bruce; he was “Jenny” back!
How many CSI’s and Law & Order’s do we really need? The show would be just as good if it didn’t have the damn tagline’s in front of them.
Kirsten Dunst looks about as much like Mary Jane Watson as Nicole Bass looks like Beyonce’. Who was the genius that cast that flat-faced fugly no-talent as one of Marvel comics most luscious chicks anyway? I think the Spidey franchise was good on the whole, but she was the Katie Holmes/Sophia Coppola of this trilogy.
I hate “trip pants” even more than the shiftless teens who wear them. You look poor! Clean yourself up and have some self respect!
I love Russell Crowe, I never see his movies.
Stone Cold showing up, delivering stunner, drinking beer is starting to lose it’s charm.
Megatron is a GUN. If he is NOT a GUN, then he is NOT Megatron!!!
SAW is a decent horror franchise and there’s less gore in the first movie than in Starship Troopers!
I have never seen anything involved with High School Musical. I never will. I can live with that and sleep well.
Will Farrell is not that funny. The cowbell skit was funny the first 16 times. I don’t have the fever anymore. Stop it.
Chuck Norris jokes are neither funny nor are they clever. The internet is not a good barometer for comedy, people.
300 is not supposed to be historically accurate. Loosen up!
Men that wear black nail polish and have never stepped on a stage in their life need to ponder if they really should reapply for a new man-card.
There are other comic book writers besides Alan Moore and Frank Miller.
(Big Ups to Steven Niles)
Um-Ba-Rella is an annoying fucking song and it’s just not good. It just flat out sucks.
Snopp Dogg is not funny and/or talented. Admit it.
This is NOT ECW. In no way shape or form is it remotely close. There are ways to make it so without even making it violent, but it's too fresh, so no McMahon will ever go through with it unless their pocketbook is threatened, and judging by TNA, that ain't gonna happen!
I hate the term “emo”. It might just be the worst definition of a social group since “Headbanger” or “Metalhead”
I despise the term “Random” and I hate even more when people use this as excuse for them to type: LyKe ThIs, zoMGz,!!!eleven!!
It HAS to take more effort to spell worse than a trained seal. The internet forces use to connect through words. At least TRY to spell them correctly.
Sporks are a functional utensil and not a comedic reference.
You’re not a pirate, take that fucking sash off and grow the fuck up, blue beard.
I wanna see Sean Combs and Jay Z battle to the death and have Ice T. shoot the winner in the face!
DX are/were never REALLY that funny.
What is it about Britney Spears that makes everyone think that her going to get a bucket of chicken is front page news. We get it. She’s a mess. Now stop before she kills herself and they release 72 albums no one wants to hear after her death like Tupac.
Finally, I wish in 2008 they release a safeguard that comes with all computers that would not allow anyone to type the words “LOL” unless they were actually laughing.
I enjoyed this format.
I may actually write like this more often.
In case I don’t see ya’ll…… Merry Christmas
(a big thanks to Robb and Trish for the X-Mas card, you guys print like world scholars!)
Take it sleazy,
The Man In Black
Doc Holliday
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